The Difference Between Personality And Self

This morning we're going to talk about the difference between what we call personality and what we call self.

And you know, I think that perhaps in not only occultism, but in human consciousness as a whole, we have the greatest confusion that could possibly exist because of not really knowing what the difference is between whatever it is we mean when we say personality and whatever it is we mean when we say self and as a matter of fact the entire experience of illumination of knowing who and what we are of really giving ourselves up to the direction of what in a Qabalah we like to call the higher self or the true ego seated in the hearts of men. The entire secret of attaining, of living, of being guided properly resides in the ability to learn how to distinguish between those two parts of our being and that is why in the lessons you receive through the mail, the tarot training, you have perhaps found by now that practically every lesson you get gives you some kind of inkling another approach another way of thinking and looking at this particular problem a way of retraining the identifications of your basic consciousness from the areas where human beings usually keep their consciousness that is certainly at this stage of their evolution and the area where really it should be or at least the area which should be alertly uh a lively and consciously in control of the rest of our being so we're going to analyze together this morning what we mean by personality and try to analyze what we mean by self or higher self or even the two little words we have heard of so often I am I am of course the secret is there Doug's are very musical I couldn't do that well myself and I always thought I could carry a tune one of Mrs. Case's dogs is particularly good at that a real musical genius I recognize his tonal quality now we we have that the musical rendition for our church services out of the we'll continue without distraction until the next one. Let's then consider personality, self, I am, and see if we can together this morning reach for and experience even for a fraction of a second the real self. Because every every fraction of a second which can bring to us this feeling this attitude this experience takes us to a degree we can scarcely begin to tell you along the path inestimably farther than we would have gone otherwise that's really the main job of the occult aspirant that is really what every spiritual teacher aims at primarily to help give first perhaps a little fraction of an experience then more and more of this experience until finally the aspirant differentiates automatically and normally between the aspects of consciousness and therefore learns how to walk under the guidance and direction of God or the Higher Self or the I AM or the True Self and whatever other name you like to give it we have no objection to terminology as long as it points to that level so let's take up personality first shall we and try to see what personality is of course we like to say this person has a lot of personality that person hasn't got any personality and the other person has a poor personality or someone else has a nice personality so we are able to distinguish between whatever we call personalities at least in terms of how we react to the personality whether we think the personality is delightful or undelightful whether we think the personality is well practically a manifestation of the devil or of an angel we differentiate and actually what is it that we are doing really when we make a remark about a personality all we're doing is making a remark about ourselves you know we are saying I react favorably or I react pleasurably to the impact of this particular group of characteristics which strike me as being pleasant, delightful, wonderful, and if you are in love of course then you go into even more ecstatic descriptions. So we have degrees and degrees of what we call reactions to a group of characteristics and we call these reactions a personality but let's consider that now person of course comes from persona and means mask doesn't it now what is the mask most of us have become aware of the fact that sometime or other usually even when we're very small that we walk around wearing a mask in other words we have a cover-up we wear a persona and our cover-up is in terms of the rest of the world for instance we want people to think that we're nice so we walk around doing or saying or being whatever we think other people will consider nice not that we may really think we're nice inside decide, but we need to have other people think we are. So we wear that particular characteristic, and more often than not, when we wear it long enough, we decide we are this particular characteristic. So we become identified with a characteristic that we think or have decided happens to be nice. Of course, somebody else might think it's despicable, because we have different tastes, you know, and incidentally, thank God, or wouldn't we have a boring world?

And if everyone had the same taste we wouldn't have the differentiation and the miraculous experience of innumerable aspects of life that we can have because we do not like or react exactly the same to various characteristics like some people prefer a very quiet listening type other people prefer a very verbal and talkative type and of course if the two get together they have a wonderful time because they are each being fulfilled at least on that in that particular way now the person or the persona or the mask actually is a developed sort of response mechanism. This we ought to get very clear so that we can stop identifying ourselves with the personality but at the same time we want to learn how to appreciate the personality. Now how is the personality merely a response mechanism? For instance, when you were a child you were taught to do certain things and not to do other things and finally a time came when you automatically did or didn't do these various things like the way you ate or the way you would drink or even the way you would say how do you do or what the type of manners you would have thoughtfulness towards other people all of these things or perhaps not all but the majority of these things we were taught as children in order to become a part of the social unit that we live in so we develop certain traits which become what they become a part of our personality don't they as to how we eat whether we stuff a whole slice of bread in our mouths at one time which some people still do and we look down on them because that's not in accordance with our social acceptances or whether we daintily nibble a slice at a time after breaking off a particular piece of the bread so you see these are characteristics the way we eat or and again the way we dress even incidentally the way we smile or the way we talk we take over haven't you watched children uh imitating parents or other adults They walk behind them and imitate the walk, or they imitate the speech.

And haven't you noticed when people live with each other how little by little they take on each other's little mannerisms? Not all, of course, some of them. Little mannerisms, little ways of speech, like little terminologies, which are not usual to the person, but they take it on because of the relationship with the other person. So you see here again you see a personality you see personality that's developing because personality is something that's developing all the time it never stops as long as you're alive and since you can't die you still can't stop it even when it develops in other ways so whatever impact is being made upon us from other people or whatever impact we're making on others we are continuously adding and or subtracting from certain expressions which are what which are responses to the other people and incidentally the personality on the whole if we only knew it is a response to other people and it's a response on whatever level the combination of ourselves and the other people are in this way I mean perhaps you've heard us say this before but let's consider it suppose one person gets mad and of course I suppose we shouldn't get mad but we do because we're human all right now what happens instantly something triggers doesn't it and the other person gets mad and even if the other person acts like he's not mad he's just covering up because maybe he learns sometime back there either he's more powerful if he hides his anger and acts like he's not mad therefore shows he or she is superior or the anger is going to express in other ways like punishing in a subtle manner for anyone daring to be angry at us but you see what has happened there's been a trigger response somebody's gotten angry and somebody has reacted unless we have what we consider a saint anyway and one wonders whether a saint is what we might consider to be a saint since probably none of us have ever met any saints and therefore all we have is in the literature and how do we know how true this might or might not be so personality is made up out of reactions that people have towards each other like you know yourself if you're with one person uh there's one party your personality comes out and expresses itself doesn't it then you're with another person and there's another part starts to express itself if you're with your children or your child uh you're one personality if you're with your husband or your friend or your love you're another person and if you're with another friend you're another person yet and if you're with strangers you're another person yet in other words whatever we mean by personality certainly our personality is not something like a personality this is one of the reasons we fall into error because we think that our personality is an individual whereas our personality is not an individual at all our personality happens to be our response for that particular time or moment to the other person or group of persons depending on so many things on what is coming in say from the mass mind of humanity which we are receptive to at the moment depending on whether we feel sick or healthy if we feel physically low we'll be open to one level of the kind of thinking and feeling of mass mind thinking feeling processes and if we're feeling real physically healthy and full of pep that lower level that is we're not talking about this in terms of the character aspect but in terms of the mood of the mood of the moment and so then if we are feeling very physically alert and bright we are more in touch with the real action thrill aspects of the mood of the mass mind emanation which goes on all the time and we receive it we send it out then receiving these reactions into ourselves depending on how we're feeling physically mind you. We then proceed, suppose someone comes to see us, or we go to see someone else, or we go to work, etc. We proceed to react in terms of not only how we are receiving from the mass mind, but how inspired or non-inspired we are at the moment in terms of what the higher self, which we'll discuss pretty soon and how we are reacting in terms of that other person's mood of the moment remember mood of the moment because if a per of a person during a specific mood is feeling say hostile or unhappy or frustrated or fearful he's going to unconsciously or she she is going to unconsciously be emanating these elements.

And then the mood of the other person will take it up, and so you have a continuous interplay going on between what? Responses. And then you might say of that particular other person, well, you know, that person has a very unpleasant personality, or that person has a very pleasant personality. Yet all that really occurred was that you had each responded to moods and characteristics not only of the moment of course but moods that have been added upon moods reactions that have been added upon reactions which we've had through an entire incarnation as well as past incarnations so but they are still what they are grouped responses aren't they automatic responses trigger responses just like we pointed out where we can have a response of anger if somebody is angry at us or we can respond in other ways and in the same way have a response of love if somebody is loving us or respond with hate if somebody is loving us there are plenty who do that you know it all depends on the response mechanisms the reaction All these grouped reactions we call the personality, which is really incorrect because it isn't the anything.

It is all kinds of things grouped in all kinds of ways.

One time you'll be feeling maternal. Another time you'll be feeling authoritative. Another time you'll be feeling receptive.

Another time you'll be feeling aggressive. I mean and all of us have all of the attitudes and reactions that exist.

None of us can say of ourselves if we really understand our personalities, none of us can say of ourselves well I'm really this kind of creature or that kind of creature. What we can say is that on the whole or most of the time I react this way and that way under certain types of conditions.

But we you see get lost in what we and these reactions we have and we think this happens to be us we also get lost in what we think is our character and incidentally that I should really give a whole morning's talk to just what is a character and what is it not but we can't go into that part of it this morning we wouldn't have time because I want you to be able to differentiate between your personality and yourself at least more than you did when you came here this morning and to perhaps go out and be able to reach for that experience of your true self more readily than you've been able to before now you might ask of course what makes this personality what what makes for these response mechanisms?

Well, remember, a growing, evolving center of consciousness automatically goes in for all the experiences that exist in order to become fully knowledgeable, fully wise, fully profound, to deepen the whole cup of consciousness. So naturally we have all gone through innumerable experiences of being and doing innumerable things of acting and reacting in innumerable ways I'm quite sure in every way that exists because we have been at this for quite a long time in terms of men's counting of time you know so that because Because of that, we certainly should be able to say to ourselves that there isn't any kind of reaction that my personality is not capable of under the proper stimulus, under the proper impact, under the conditions that will stir or explode or woo various characteristics characteristics or traits into the heart or out of the heart. I remember the time that really this difference between self and personality hit me with the most extraordinary impact was a time quite a long time ago, as a matter of fact, when I was in the midst of what the world would consider a very pleasurable activity which required a great deal of physical exercise and in the midst of this pleasurable activity with this physical exercise being expressed all of a sudden for no reason at all that one could discern except for the fact that I had been meditating very regularly by that time, aspiring to find the answer to the mysteries of life and death and evolution and liberation.

So as I said, I had, of course, been going in for periods, long periods of meditation, but at this particular moment I was in the midst of a very materialistic, pleasurable activity. And suddenly, without any warning, a part of my consciousness seemed to split off from me, up about a foot higher than my other approximate consciousness, or shall we say apparent consciousness. And this consciousness that split off from me and please don't tell people I'm a schizoid it would not be good for the work you know and we do want to bring this riches to as many people as possible now this split off of this consciousness was the most extraordinary thing for this reason or perhaps there are many reasons first of all there was a type of thinking process all its own different from the thinking process of the intellect this was the first thing that was very apparent second of all this thinking process was the most completely impersonal type of thinking and analysis that one could imagine utterly impersonal on the other hand it was very personally very personally focused on my entire personality and its activity very focused indeed watching often you have heard of the term the watcher this was watching but it wasn't only watching it was having it or it was analyzing what it was watching and the analysis was something like this look at that ridiculous child with all this ridiculous wasteful activity that could be put in so much more effective areas of expression and you know like a clicking of the tongue you know on the shaking of the head like we would with a child but mind you this was no interference there was no condemnation involved it was merely observation observation that had a thought process involved in it don't you see but not like the intellect thinks with absolutely no interference and suddenly my consciousness was back in one piece and I had I continued with my pleasurable activities of the time without any interference except that it left me forever dissatisfied oh and you would say and this is good when we're searching for happiness for satisfaction yes it's very good because it depends on what it left me dissatisfied with it left me forever dissatisfied with the wasteful kinds of activity that are oriented merely on the physical plane forever dissatisfied so this higher self which came without any drums without any tooting of horns certainly did something to my personality without interfering with the personalities function in one one one fraction of a manner or way and from that time on of course I kept meditating and working towards trying to discover what is the difference between purely materialistic orientation of the energies and that which includes or involves the self the higher self and little by little I found out I found it out indeed and of course I found it out mostly and in some ways you might say almost completely as I proceeded with the Tarot work and the Qabalistic work and then the initiations of the inner and esoteric parts of our work that is when the unfolding of the realization came to me more and more and you hear much of it when you hear the various prayers read incidentally it carries that same message now what is it then that the self is which the personality is not the personality remember is dependent on the physical body in much of its expressions even our scientists have discovered that the kind of physical body you have determines pretty much the kind of temperament you're going to have did you know that they can just pretty much look at you and call you you're this type or that type an endomorph and then I think ectomorph and the various other morphs or what have you but they can tell pretty much what particular kind of temperament or disposition is involved yet it's more than this because remember we come in with predispositions but I hope that most of you at least were present when I explained that even the kind of body that we grow and we grow it the real self grows it is grown because of the pattern that's already there in the consciousness beforehand so even the type of vehicle we grow will remind you we're talking about the type of vehicle is something that the self has determined previously in order to express a certain certain elements or develop certain aspects of personality or have certain reactions that will be inevitable so that the personality can develop into certain ways or special in a specialized manner then we have all the subconscious memory which are conditioned reflexes and we have all the experiences of this particular lifetime and all of these things intermingle and Make what you call groups of reactions Depending on the situation which has nothing to do with the real self Our Eastern brethren often give us an exercise which says, which indicates you should say, I am not this, I am not that, I am not the other, and I am not the other. Now in our Western school of thought what we attempt to do, rather than keep disclaiming I am not this and I am not that, is to keep reaching for what I am. Now the one thing we know if we stop to think about it carefully, I am not the body because if you were the body as it has been said before when parts of the body are cut off some part of your consciousness would be lost and it isn't and of course we have psychic research to prove that survival is that consciousness continues to exist and personality continues to exist which has been taken in from the body after death so certainly we know we're not our bodies because first of all we can do what we want with our bodies we can say raise your hand put your hand down, walk, sit, be lazy or be active. We can say all these things to the body. So there's something in us that controls his body. Maybe we're lazy and we let the body do a lot of the controlling. You know that's part of the problem we all have. But nevertheless on the whole something in us can make the body do anything with that it wishes within the laws of the physical universe that is for the body then something in us can do anything it wishes with the emotions you can't be your emotions can you if you are able to say no I refuse to be angry or say no I refuse to be fearful or say I insist on being angry which we also can do in other words something in you has the power to decide, hasn't it, what your emotions will be. And often you have made that decision. Of course, just as often as not your emotions ride you.

Well that's part of the growth process. It's because you haven't yet learned how to put your total personality complex under the direction of the Higher Self, which we will speak of now. Because now we're coming to the mind. And you see, so So many of us do what? We relate ourselves to our intellect and we think we are the thinking process. But are we the thinking process? Imagine for a moment. If you were your thinking processes, in other words, if you were your intellect, could you decide, I will accept this thought, but I will not accept that thought? I accept this idea, but I refuse that idea? Could you do that? No something in you then is able to make a choice over what you think or accept as thought and what you refuse to accept as a thought and that is your I am that is your true self that is your eternal beingness that you have been or that has been a part of you or the real you before time began that will be you when apparently time might be no more and it is that in you which can watch it is that in you which can refuse or accept thoughts emotions physical activities it is that in you which can reach for the stars it is that in you which loves it you're it is not really the emotions that love you know the emotions express the love of that the thoughts express the thinking of that within the framework of its conditioning of the personality of the time but it is that which holds the full knowledge of everything and every personality you have ever been, every personality complex that you are.

So let's reach together now to that idea, to that feeling. Let's reach with our hearts to something like a foot above our heads, and let's feel together that something as being the loving, beneficent, watching, eternal I. I. The I AM that always was. The I AM that can never not be. That is you whether you walk through what seems to be hell or whether you you climb into what seems to be heaven. If I climb up into heaven, thou art there. That is your I am. If I go down into hell, lo, thou art there also. That is your eternal I am. If I take the wings of the morning and remain in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there shall thy hand hold me, the I am.

That is your I am which has your personality in complete control whether you know it or not that is watching with beneficence even if it clicks its tongue that loves and guides and as you reach for that every second that you can as you reach for just acknowledgement it isn't that you have to learn to be guided it you don't have to learn you are reach for the acknowledgement reach and say to yourself thou guidest me hell or heaven mistakes or no mistakes I am in the hands of god my eternal I am please take that with you and remember it and reach for it that acknowledgement every second of every moment of every hour of every day that you can remember to do it.