What Is Guilt And Who Is Guilty

That was a very gloomy beginning for Sunday inspiration from the Book of Job, was it not? But we hope it will not end that way. And remember the title of tonight's talk, today or this morning's talk is What is Guilt? And Who is Guilty? And of course, the age-old cry as it echoes from Job, and which incidentally I sympathize with very completely is just as we have read and it comes from the heart of practically every human being at some time or other people who have become atheists have become atheists because with Job they have cried out if I'm guilty if I am wicked who made me that way and those who have not become atheists but who have clung to a belief in God have still cried out oh my God if thou art creator of all then thou couldst have done it exactly as thou pleasest why did you do it this way and indeed I must confess that many a time God and I have had oh tremendous arguments on the the same question as has every truly searching soul every heart that has wept from the profound depth of the heart every pair of eyes that have poured out enough tears it would seem to fill many a notion every soul that has been filled with despair has cried out exactly as Job has has cried out and complained most bitterly if you will remember in the book of the psalms even our beloved prophet david who knew how to praise the lord and bless his holy name spent practically as much time complaining to the lord about his pains and his aches and blaming the Lord thereof and indeed there have been times in our classwork when we have shocked an aspirant or two when we have taken up the question of what is guilt and who is guilty and just what should we do about these emotions in our hearts where in with that little imp of mischief which we think is part of the true spirit of religion with that little chuckle gurgling underneath because somehow somewhere back there something sees the truth we have said to our aspirants well if you really must blame somebody why don't you just plain blame god and who else is there to blame really now let's be reasonable together let's not fall into the trap that the orthodox fall into the trap of separativeness the trap of the separate will that is so strong and so powerful that it can go against the will of God let's consider let's take the logical consequences of a theory or a teaching which says there is one life there is one God there is one consciousness everything that lives and breathes and moves exists within that one self that one life that one consciousness there can be no outside and as God himself is said to have said to Isaiah in the bible too if there be evil in the city hath the Lord not done it and this question comes up over and over again well this lament that we just read from the book of Job though it shakes the heart it is very morbid I must confess there was a time or two I had to keep from laughing why not because my heart is moved to an infinity of pain over this question it's because it is and because it is so completely a nickel of the feelings I have had many a time as I have struggled to attain to an insight into this question because to me as it should be to every true aspirant the answer to this question of pain or of good and evil of what is guilt and who is guilty the entire ability to accept God himself life itself it seems to me would hinge upon that otherwise we set up a devil against the God and if we did that we would certainly have to admit that the devil's been winning all around up to this point wouldn't we and that certainly wouldn't give us an omniscient God on the other hand if we decide to attribute all the pains and the aches and the apparent evils that we see to the same God then we would say that this God is not really a good God and that's again where we fall into this terrible trap and the thing that helps us to fall into such a trap more than anything incidentally is this wonderful marvelous intellect of ours which we worship in place of God and we do this ala ala to this intellectual analysis which we are capable of those of us who have a sharp enough intellect and those of us who have not go along deliberately holding the intellect away and blocking it out and pulling down a curtain and refusing to face the question at all now neither of these approaches are going to help the point is is, Job did cry out, if I suffer, it is thou who art making me to suffer. I am not wicked, he cried out, and then again in another place he cried out, I am wicked. In other words, he's torn, and yet the very wickedness in him, he could see, was not of his own making or his own doing. This is the most profound Qabalistic book, incidentally, outside of revelation that we have in the bible this book of Job and it gives more of the answers to those who know how to read and who truly study the Qabalah and its interpretations in relation to this whole question of good and evil of strength and weakness of the whole pair of opposites so let's consider consider it the whole question of guilt because we know don't we that even in our modern psychological studies and researches it has come to be known that the greatest problem in the human soul the greatest problem is the problem of guilt even in the modern psychological findings it has been discovered that a good many at least most of our illnesses if not all at least most of our illnesses and most of our problems with our relations in any of the relationship areas and most of the sorrows actually seem to stem from some basic problem of guilt within the individual individual and many orthodox churches of course take up this particular idea and they give it their interpretation saying that a god and a mammon are fighting for our souls and if this were true as we pointed out before seems to me that hell must be very very full and I doubt whether we'd find more than half a dozen up in heaven whatever that might be if what our orthodox churches teach us the truth reminds me of that lovely little story dr serra monera told here when she gave that talk she was telling a few of these stories about hell and told about the man who loved money so much he just couldn't bear to part with it he just kept amassing it he was very selfish and when he died he applied for an application to be admitted into heaven and the one in the front office took his application and asked him what he had done and not done and finally after thinking very hard he remembered he'd once given a quarter to a beggar a blind beggar and it was the application was brought to Saint Peter and Saint Peter said oh well give him back his quarter let him go to hell well it's a delightful little thing uh it really says a lot you know uh the idea that that our heaven and hell perhaps even enters after death in truth then my darling let's consider what is hell hell really is a state of consciousness that doesn't exist after death that exists at any time in the consciousness and perhaps at the most while we are in an incarnation nation hell is that state of not being full of love full of life full of faith in god and the universal laws of the divine will no matter what is occurring this is hell a lot of people are in hell and don't recognize it as you know like that man I told you about who was so lazy uh and uh his idea of heaven was not to have to do anything and he certainly did his best to do nothing he hated work remember when he died he wasn't permitted to do anything he had a special wallet they wouldn't even let him lift his own food to his mouth or tie his own shoe and after a while he almost went crazy almost he was going crazy without being permitted to do a thing whatever he tried oh this isn't permitted and do you remember when that man said my god in heaven if this is my god if this is heaven I might just as well be in hell you remember his attendant said but my dear sir wherever in the world did you think you were and there again we have our problem we live in a hell in our consciousness and we don't even know at a good deal of the time although I'm sure we're not mistaken and we don't think we're in heaven those who are in heaven here and now know they're in heaven they know it because of the state of the love and outpouring from their center from the within out they know it because of the way they respond to life and to the experiences that come all the time no matter what they are they know it because in their hearts there's no question about what is guilt and who is guilty they know that wherever weakness abides in themselves it's because they haven't grown up there and just as no little child feels guilty because he cannot spell accurately every word in the dictionary and just as no child will feel guilty because he cannot immediately tell you what the chemical formula is for certain compounds in the same manner a human consciousness that has has learned how to live in the heaven of God, which is here and now, doesn't feel guilty about the weaknesses and the mistakes that are made, although that person knows that there are certain pains that he must endure through in order to have his soul, his consciousness, his ability, his capacity strengthened, his muscles, I always like to call it his spiritual muscles developed and how indeed are they going to be developed without a little discomfort this is so difficult for many people to see the whole question of blame of guilt of condemnation is so ingrained in the human consciousness that we are forever searching our own hearts even we who should know better looking for what we should blame ourselves for to see now where is where was I a very bad or naughty or evil creature because of this happening instead of looking within to see now where is it that I have not yet developed enough ability and capacity You see, the attitude makes a different thing happen.

When we are looking for the areas that merely need strengthening and developing, we do not keep building such painful experiences as are necessity.

But when we keep looking for the reasons why we have been so evil, so naughty, so recalcitrant, we are hunting for those things which are going to punish us. And remember that beautiful thing which goes something like this in the Bible holy art thou Lord of the universe if I climb up into heaven thou art there if I descend into hell lo thou art there also if I take the wings of the morning and remain in the uttermost parts of the sea even there shall thy hand guide me and thy right hand shall hold me if I say peradventure the darkness shall cover me even the night shall be light unto thee you see the idea the idea is really basically this you and I and everything that lives and moves is a center in God of God for God our minds are a center of consciousness within the universal consciousness our bodies are a cell within the body of God our physical body our emotions are a cell a center of emotions within the universal emotion our drive and our will is an aspect a specialized aspect of the drive and push of the one God there isn't anything you and I have ever been there isn't anything you and I have ever done there isn't anything you and I have ever thought there is nothing you and I have ever felt which has been separate or apart from or outside of the one God the the one universal life, the miraculous everythingness of which we are a somethingness.

That is the actual truth. How else could it be? Ask yourselves. Ask it seriously.

Look into your heart, each and every one, and ask yourselves, how else could it be?

Can an embryo exist outside of its mother's womb what would happen it can't exist can your blood circulate outside of your vehicle can the beat of your heart take place in the next state ask yourselves how can the beat and pulse of your life be anywhere except inside the one universal life where else can it be and if this be true who else is there to play with God for everything you see the point but this should be done with a smile we must learn to feel that loving eternal security of that knowingness so that we can think these things with the smile and not with the shock because what is it in us that becomes shocked over using uh deliberately deliberately use these little shocking phrases if you know to keep you from falling asleep during the sermon and also to develop the humor it makes the day more inspirational we hope not to have had a nap but to have had a little food for the spirit not that naps are bad they're very excellent and if you must take a nap we'd rather you came here to do it because we figure perhaps your subconsciousness at least we know your subconsciousness would be absorbing something if not the full measure in consciousness nevertheless we prefer that you take your nap at home and here develop that little extra awakening the extra wakefulness that will help you to discover more and more who and what you are and give you that peace and security which this discovery brings and of course the mistake that every aspirant makes when he thinks about peace and security is thinking about it in terms of man-made man manufactured ideas which after all are just still infantile security does not have to mean that we have the biggest car in the neighborhood and live in the swankiest house and have a few servants or at least one servant and so much money in the bank and the latest color television this isn't security if this were security all our wealthiest citizens would be very secure and we know very well that most of the richest people in the world are the most insecure human beings in the world and if you do not know it you ought to read a few biographies and autobiographies written by those who have too much of the world's goods and you would discover what a desperate what an unwholesome and unhealthy life most of them live material things are not the security we search for though it is true that when we find our inner security emotional spiritual security we need never worry about having enough to eat or a roof over our heads or being able to be arrayed as was said in the bible where not even Solomon in all his glory was arrayed as one of these we will not have to worry about that when we have the security but we need to learn where to look and as long as we have guilt and as long as we feel guilty we certainly cannot have security because guilt and security do not go together the matter of fact one of the things amongst many which makes people who have too much of the world's goods feel insecure is because they feel guilty they feel they have more than they need and most people in the world haven't got as much as they need and they feel guilty subconsciously whether it's conscious or not they feel is an uneven distribution and certainly they don't want to give it up they figure what good would that do then somebody else will collect the extras and it certainly isn't going to solve the problem of material distribution nevertheless they suffer a certain guilt from that whether they're aware of it or not and they figure perhaps they were just plain lucky and if they were lucky your luck can always turn you know so then they're afraid they'll become as one of those others and lose it then too they can never know that they are loved never how how could they know it when you haven't got anything in the way of the world's goods and somebody loves you you know whatever they love you for it sure isn't for your money at least I've always been very happy to say that when anyone loves me the one thing I know they don't love me for is my money because I've never had it but these people who have too much of the world's goods how can they know that they are loved impossible impossible even if they marry someone who also has as much money as they do they still do not know that they are loved because that other person might feel just as insecure as they and figure if I double my money by marrying somebody who's got as much money as I've got maybe I'll be twice as safe at least subconsciously don't you think so they cannot know the true complete joy of being loved nor can they know the true complete joy which is even more important of loving from within out that's why they can't get it from without in because they aren't free they are bound to the material things now this this isn't necessarily true but it would take an extraordinary extra highly evolved soul to be in that position and not have these psychological spiritual problems you know and truly we haven't got that many extraordinary highly evolved souls on the planet at this time humanity is an infant humanity indeed in some ways isn't even quite an infant yet it's an embryo in the womb of God and even when humanity can be thought of as an infant or a child it is still in you might say the womb of God in the consciousness of God because there's nowhere else to ever go and the development of security the development of faith in life and in what happens this is the secret of overcoming the various youth complexes that reside in our hearts now some of us feel guilty because we're not as pretty as others and some of us feel guilty because we're not as clever as others you think it's foolish to say guilty it's really that really because if we're dissatisfied with various the various ways that we are what we want to be is like somebody else and what do you think if we want to be like somebody else it's because we're envying that somebody else and if we're envying that somebody else what is envy ask yourself and you'll find that it's a feeling of lack within ourselves and a desire to have what somebody has in other words we covet our neighbors brains and we covet our neighbors consciousness and we covet our neighbors emotions and we covet our neighbors wives and husbands you see the Ten Commandments just mentions a few of the things which we've misinterpreted but what about the things that really matter much more than some of the things we think have been important instead then of looking within our own hearts and saying I am a unique center in and of God because there can't be anyone like you in the universe and of course if we dislike ourselves we perhaps say thank God and if we are fond of ourselves we say oh my God God ought to take me as a model and manufacture a few more of me and when we're in a mood to love ourselves perhaps we have that feeling though we wouldn't put it in those words and most of the time though but we are very dissatisfied with what we are and this is blasphemy we're blaspheming against the Lord's creation God created man in his image and likeness created he him male and female created he them and he breathed the breath of life into them now that's you and me and when we don't like and God said it was good and about man he said it is very good remember I read a few from the Bible and gave you a little of the Qabalistic interpretation about two three weeks ago I read to you from Genesis and he said it was very you know everything that he created each day he said is this that's good he was quite pleased with himself and then when he got to the creation of man he was he really was having a terrific time I almost used the word that's the opposite of heaven by saying a good time of a very good time because actually you see it became hell for us because we lost our Garden of Eden and we lost it because we started to blaspheme and this book of Job in a way does just that we started to blaspheme against our Creator who said this is very very good and we started to become dissatisfied with ourselves and our capacities and with each other with our fellow brothers sisters our fellow fragments of life and we started to tear ourselves apart and everybody else apart or sometimes we wouldn't tear ourselves apart because we didn't dare so we tore everyone else apart but if we tear others apart we're tearing ourselves apart also my darling because anything that goes out from us comes back he who betrays another finds in the final analysis that he's only thrust the sword the dagger into his own heart because we're one life is one and we can do nothing to each other that we haven't done to ourselves and we can do nothing to ourselves that we do not do to each other into God so when we blaspheme against ourselves when we say I am a low vile spirit as unhappily some orthodox religious thought tries to tell us we are and when we are taught to pray in such a way as to say I am low and vile as some unhappy deluded teachings try to tell us to do we are blaspheming steaming against the Holy Ghost can't you see it I hope you can see this because it's truly very important to learn to recognize that only as we practice and we can't it doesn't happen by itself we have to practice it and that's why we have tarot that's why we have kapala that's why we have the lessons that we give that you receive each week in the mail and that's why we have all the other areas the Pranaeus and the esoteric chapter for those of you who prepare yourself for it and these Sunday talks and the Thursday classes although we are having the summer vacation as you know for Thursday and Tuesday that's why we have all these things to help you become accustomed to practicing the true presence of what the selfhood of you is and to stop blaspheming against God because I every one of you when you say I this is God what else can it be and who else can it be when I say to myself I'm mother because I have a gorgeous daughter you know good chance to brag about it so I bring it in then I am I mother and when I say I grandmother I have two gorgeous grandsons I am I grandmother and when I say I sister and I have a sister that's out of this world and many other wonderful sisters is I am I sister but I am I am I ever different than I no matter what I am at the moment I am I I sister I teacher I mother I grandmother I friend I I every relationship the same way God through you whatever your name is I Mary I John I Jane I Harriet I Louise I God you see so that when you say I am hungry there's only one I it's a specialized way God experiences the taste the the touch, the sight, the feel, the breath, the way things are put together in a special way and in that very extra special way through you.

And nowhere in the universe and no one in the universe can give God that self-experience of that specialized ray.

That is you. So you are special. You are a treasure beyond description you are a glory beyond any dimming you are a wonder beyond comprehension because you are God in expression you are from before there was a beginning and you are after there could be an end never a time you were not you are a specialized aspect of the way God experiences self and you're not finished you're a traveling aspect of God's consciousness you're a growing cell in God's consciousness you are like a child learning how to paint or write you don't paint so very good and some of your pictures look awful but you are a magical amazing creator that paints you may not dance so very gracefully but you're going to dancing school you're the miracle of motion that can dance and no one can ever express it like you ever so how do you dare to say I wish I was like so-and-so or such-and-such how do you dare blaspheme this is what makes you feel guilty not what the psychologists tell you all focused on their materialistic points of view something in you knows that you're blaspheming against god because you're not thanking god day and night and beginning and end that you are no matter what is happening you weep this is a part of the learning how to draw of steadying the hand you have lost something dear to you this is part of the disciplinary process of developing the muscles is that so important it's only part of the growing of the infantile aspect of the child who's still clumsy and you're destined as Jesus said to do even greater work because you are a specialized unique aspect of God how can we dare to blaspheme against God by tearing down the cells that are part of him how do we dare by looking out at the world and saying this is a demon's paradise because we see that creatures apparently lives on creature if there is one God bringing manipulating all these paintings and aspects and we are seeing it in a specialized way whatever pain we have and if we do not have pain we don't even begin to know God because pain deepens the cup of the capacity to have and experience our selfhood and so even for our pain we need to thank God and see this amazing blessing and to reach for its message in growth which would make the pain a beauty and would make it go and flow almost as though it had never been then all our pains would be like the pain that the the acrobat experiences when he's dancing an acrobatic dance or getting his muscles strengthened for it it's a joy he's invigorated or like the pain that the swimmer feels practicing so that he'll be able to take a long swim invigorated and feeling I am the master and you know you are you are the master of every response and when your responses are what seem to be failures you're still a master because you need to experience the failure to perhaps have a little humility and be able to accept the fact that you're a child a miraculous child of God and where you see other apparent failures to let your heart wash out with compassion there but you see it otherwise than those who feel guilty because they think they are something very separate and very special you know feeling personal guilt is like being an egomaniac it's like being put into an institution because for instance you might think you're napoleon or you might think say you were hit you are hitler and you were responsible for the extinction of millions of human souls it's being power mad and ego mad to think that you personally have that kind of consciousness that separativeness that you personally can be responsible for the evils and at the same time you're just as much of an egomaniac and just as much separated from the universal consciousness when you think that you personally are responsible for all the good that you have done remember what Jesus said my father doeth the work through me remember what we say in the pattern on the trestle board through me comes the wisdom and the power and all else now you see the me is the personality and our big mistake and our reason for guilt is because we keep attributing to the personality the changing personality those things that don't belong there at all the personality is always the result how could the personality be the thing that is the causal factor what was your personality like when you were two years old what was it like when you were five years old is it the same personality you have today what was your personality like when you were 12 years old when you were an adolescent and had the first stirring of your biological urges and your love drive what was your personality like then and what is it like now what was it like ten years ago how can you attribute something the The personality is as flimsy, as changing, as washing, but something in you has been constant.

It's been I, the watcher, hasn't it?

I, who have experienced this personality, am a constant. That's in you, which is the unique aspect of God and will always and forever be.

And when you learn, and you must learn, and Tarot and Qabalah will help you to learn it, and we project it to you as much as we can with extra intensive force from the inner school when you come to gather together like this for which I serve as the grateful channel we try to pour to you the ability to get even one flash one touch of this feeling to start the seed growing to radiate out into larger measure into your beingness that recognition that the I of you is a miraculous, glorious, eternal, beginningless, endless, watcher and controller of all that is, of the personality, of what you see, of how you interpret it. It is that in you which is the will of God. And whatever you have willed, remember, even if it has seemed evil, or bad at the time it was that experience you had to have as you grow into your complete glorious all-loving all-pervading all-knowing powerfulness your destiny of beauty beyond description which you already are but you must become conscious of it your personality must become a clear transparent vehicle for it and all that occurs whether it seems to be good or whether it seems to be evil is merely the pressing of that unique glory the growing the cracking of the shells of the sea that's all it is so have shall we say not only faith but let your hearts lift to a sweetness to a confidence let your heart lift above the bitterness and the lament of Job let your heart lift to the gratitude to God that you are just that what that alone I am and life is isn't it a miracle I can be aware because God is let your heart flip to that and then you will see and then you will know that even when you wept it was God who wept and not that little personality and there was a glorious wonderful reason for it a reward beyond anything we could even dimly comprehend as infants and children that we are at the moment but we can know it strive for it when you leave here this morning look out at the sky and the trees at the cars and its people and say to yourselves that which has created all this also has created me and is that part of me which knows itself as me and looks at these things say this to yourself when you walk out of here and day and night and in between as often as you to remember and see what happens to your sorrows.