Attainment on the Tree of Life - Class 5

Last week we were taking up the various aspects of memory, mercy, and love that deal with Sephirah number four on the Tree of Life. And remember in this particular ten-week course on the attainments dealing with the Qabalistic Tree of Life, What we are particularly trying to bring to you is a correlation of the development in its involutionary aspect, that is, of the way the life power, from what we have been able to see and study both exoterically and through the inner plane awarenesses, how the various powers, the consciousness of the creative spirit of life, brings about a vibratory change from level to level, and that at each vibratory change we give it a different name, but we're not dealing with a different thing. In other words, divinity in one expression is called one thing. Divinity in its next level of of involutionary expression is given another name, but this other name does not mean another thing.

It's pretty much like the talents you may have. Now, if you are a teacher, for example, when you are with a group of people, whether you're teaching a few people or many, whether it deals with academic teaching or with other levels of teaching, at that period you are a teacher, you are in that area of your expression. Then you may go home and you may be a husband and or a wife, a mother and or a father, and each of these is another expression of your same beingness. And then you may go out to see various people for various reasons, have various friends, and with each of these you will be expressing another aspect of your being.

And yet, at all times, the same name is yours, but there is another term that is applied to you, basically. That is the terminology that has to do with that particular expression, which you are indulging in for that moment or that day or the few hours that are involved. And when we can realize that we are so many things expressing many areas of our own nature we ought to be able to see that in the qabalistic teaching training system when we speak of deity as having a certain divine name when we think of deity in terms of the one the indivisible the beginning of the whirling of the beginning of creation we can see that we're not changing the idea of the one deity when we go on to say that this one deity, in bringing its consciousness into a certain type of activity, sees the two portions of itself, which we may call the force and form aspects of its selfhood, or the masculine feminine aspects of its selfhood or the outgoing and the compressing aspects of its selfhood or the opposite areas of its own awareness which indeed is necessary in order to be aware at all because unless you have something against which to measure something something, you really cannot have consciousness in that area.

I wonder if you can see that. For instance, if you look at a sky that has nothing, think of no sun, no star, think of no horizon, you would have no way of measuring anything as against anything else. However, where you do see the stars, say you're looking at a night sky, you can measure one One thing is against another. For instance, the distance of the stars, one from the other, as you see them from your point of view, the distance of the stars from the horizon, or the point from which you're looking.

When the sun is shining, you can see just exactly what position that sun is in, in relation to your consciousness, as against the horizon, horizon or the god bless you or the areas uh of uh buildings so that you can see that the sun uh appears to be and what you have come to know as the west or the east or that is leading slightly to the north or the south in other words you have something to measure something against and the development of self-consciousness absolutely requires having something to measure something against which doesn't mean you're against anything keep this in mind it means that you cannot have self-consciousness except you are able to measure one part of manifestation against another. In the same way, Deity, in accordance with Qabalistic teaching, sees into its own consciousness within a specialized framework when it measures the pairs of opposites that are part of its own being, like the two sides of a coin which makes something and the two parts of its being are said to be the eternal masculine and the eternal feminine the eternal yod he vahe mistranslated jehovah in the bible and the eternal elohim mistranslated lord god in the bible but that is the feminine part of deity and in that manner we come to see that consciousness of deity is consciousness because there is something as against something else not in competition but for comparison points of view you have nothing to compare you have nothing to know. You could not know a flower, except you had a form to compare against the background.

You could not know a color at all, unless you had various colors with which to compare one to another in your own being. You could not know love, unless you've known hate, nor could you know hate, unless you've known love, strange as that may sound. Always you have your pairs of opposites which actually bring about the development of consciousness and all of evolution is a development of consciousness from less self-consciousness to more self-consciousness All of evolution is a growth of awareness from an all-inclusive, non-specific ecstasy, as I pointed out to you before, to a very specific or specialized something to be ecstatic about. Out. Now those of us who have experienced what is often called Nirvana, and I knew this experience from the time I can remember, actually in my infancy, those of us who have experienced that state or level of consciousness, we know that in that level there is no possibility ability whatsoever of having self-consciousness that can know the one thing is against the other, not while you're in that state of awareness.

We know that even though you can have the rapture and the ecstasy, the awareness of I, beginningless, endless, that's where it ends.

There's nothing to be ecstatic about, you're just ecstatic.

You are it's difficult to put into words and I know that perhaps it's foolish of me to attempt it but often the very words that we use even though they certainly do not give you the experience will act as a bridge the vibratory bridge because of my knowledge of this state of consciousness it will give you the bridge it will plant within your consciousness the seed that will grow you into that awareness or that experience not remember that in qabalah we want you to have that experience and get lost in it this is the mistake our western or rather our eastern brethren have made often though some of them have awakened and recognized the fact that this is almost what you might call a return to the womb of the mother, that which modern psychology has called a regression of consciousness, an unwillingness to take on the disciplines that have to do with self-conscious evolution.

And disciplines, of course, are something we will all avoid if we can, and if I could I'd avoid it also let's face it we don't just march out with joyous desire to take disciplines upon ourselves unless we're masochists you know want to prove how marvelous we are because we can sit on a bed of nails we do this in other ways some of us deliberately choose unhappy experiences and unhappy relationships so that we can prove how spiritual we are. And I can't imagine anything more awful than being tied up with a masochist in you, even with yourself. We've all been masochists at times, all of us. Let's realize it. There are times we have just been exalted over our own miseries and thought how spiritual it makes us, as being miserable.

Let's accept it. We've all done this. If it's necessary that we should have how can we understand all these graduations these gradations of the way consciousness works unless we've been through it this is the reason I said to you last week for God's sake I'm not cussing be willing to get out there and risk yourself be willing to get out there and love not that you won't make mistakes you will but how are you going to develop discrimination how are you going to develop awareness how are you going to be able to deepen the cup of your capacity how are you going to be able to determine finally what is and is not on your vibratory level of self-enfoldment unless you get out there and find out as long as you're going to protect yourselves and if I could I would as we all would wouldn't we as long but the point is as long as you're going to protect yourself you're not going to find out what you can and cannot do with your power and the first principle really which all of the true occult teachings have given us sounds a little trite it is utterly misunderstood utterly and it is so simple it says God is love but what does this mean?

What does this mean God is love?

Those who are intellectually inclined and who believe in justice look out at the world and they say God is love.

Ye gods!

And many exclamation marks after that exclamation.

And we have to look out at the world and we have to see if God is love. Why then all this nonsense?

All this hate? Why these tragedies these illnesses these deformities of mind of heart why then these deformities of emotional response to others so of course most of us know it's the others that have the emotional deformities alright I won't irritate you anymore no enjoy it there could you can you enjoy it from there yeah put it over in that corner put it over a little there so everybody can see it I don't want you cheated not in some books but somebody put it over there where it can be seen at the full angle I want no no no on there oh I hear yes there no huh yes but people here were peering at me through between That's what I mean. I saw some discomfort was coming from that area right there. And we don't believe in discomfort, do we? Well, all right, let's put it where nobody will have discomfort.

Find a place, darling. You're clever. Sure, I mean, you were all right, but there were a few here who weren't.

Put it more towards this end so everyone can see it no no on the other corner no turn it turn the rose towards the people last bit thank you I think now everybody can see it. All right, no one's uncomfortable. I got your message.

Well, when we're uncomfortable, really, we can't be as receptive towards the levels that we're working for and towards.

And so, as you know, I believe in it. If I could, I'd have someday perhaps we will, unless we work for it, every one of you would be sitting in plucked seats.

And if you think you'd fall asleep, you're mistaken. I wouldn't let you. I'd have certain gimmicks to shock you.

All right.

Then the point we want to remember is that in areas of love, we have the same principle working as we have in any other part of life when we hear the idea god is love we have as many ideas about what god is love means as we have levels of spiritual development to one person god is love means that if your loved one doesn't love you and looks at somebody else with a wink or a blink you kill him. We know that. I killed him and her because I loved him or her. I mean, how many times have you read that? Or we raise a little Hades with them. See how nicely I put that? We make life miserable for them. We know that. To To so many of us, the idea of God being love means that we're wishy-washy, weak, appeases, that we let anybody and everybody walk over us.

And unfortunately, this is a thing that we have to discuss tonight, and so we're going to make ourselves slightly uncomfortable.

And if we can't stand it, we won't come back to it.

I hope to see you next week!

I might go off to Venezuela myself.

She says she hopes they see me next week.

That's adorable. That's adorable Because you see the whole principle of love is rich, beautiful, true without any question but the interpretation of love has to do with our own level of perception awareness and capacity And the different areas of expression on the Tree of Life really have to do, when I mention the different divine names, it has to do with another vibratory expression of the same idea, the one thing, the one principle. Now, when we say God is love, we're not saying God isn't something besides love. It depends on what we think. We can't even remotely make or give a description of deity or the Creator, because after all, we are unfinished products of something infinitely beyond ourselves. What we can do is reach towards the highest ideal we have at the moment in order to bring about our own growth. Now you will go to places, many of you have done so, many of you will do so some more, where they will say to you, and you've read books, all you have to do is just hammer on one idea.

In fact, I know of one teacher who died recently who wrote something like 25 books. All of them said the same thing, really. He said, give up everybody, give up everything. Give up ritual give up ceremonial give up this give up the eastern teaching give up the western teaching give up anything just stick with this one idea god is love uh god can get to you and bring you to illumination to awareness and that's it period and he said it so well but quite a few people followed him, quite a few, and they had quite a bit of inspiration for a while, some for a week, some for a month, some managed it for a couple years. You know, that's a pretty long time.

But what happened?

They found that this doesn't work. It doesn't work because our interpretation of love has to do with the age of our soul, with the karmic necessities and requirements of our particular level of perception. It has to do with the degree of mastery we have attained in relation to our own personalities and so love Love has many different meanings to many different people, many different meanings to many different people.

All we can say then, when we relate it to Qabalah, is this, that every single one of these sefiris, which are spheres of activity of the one life or one divinity, are expressing a graduated phase or expression of love which may look like something else to those who are not yet able to see it just like the idea of morals and the story most of you have heard of the cannibal chief and his morals as against the head of the forces for our country in one of the cannibalistic islands since most of you have heard it I won't repeat it so it really is one of the finest yes but I hate to well those of you then who have heard it uh I hope let's put it this way if we're talking about what love is and does not because we're going to cover gabora and boy am I going to get tough and rough as I said god knows how many of you won't come back uh then those of you who have heard it suppose you decide right now to feel enough love for those who haven't heard it, so that you can listen to it again and give them the joy of hearing this, because it is one of the most beautiful illustrations I've ever come across. Now, if you will do this, I will make it very brief. To begin with, I used to like to drag it out, because I love the story. But in this particular story, the The head of the United Forces during the Second World War arrived at one of the cannibal islands in the South Pacific.

And on the other side of the island, the enemy forces, the Japanese, had also landed. And the head of our forces had a very nice talk with the chief of the cannibals, who was the, you might say, something like the king of the island, called the chief. And he pointed out to him how terrible and bad the enemy were. They were out to destroy the world, to own the world, and all the things that go with it. And therefore they required help.

They asked the chief and the tribe there at that island to help them to destroy this evil force so the world would be free and safe and wonderful and all this sort of thing. The chief listened with great courtesy and he said, I will retire and meditate on it, and I will meet you in three days and I will give you my answer.

Meanwhile, of course, the head of the United Forces, along with the head of the Japanese forces were having their little ka-la-la, if that's what you like to call it. Three days later, the appointment was kept and the head of the United Forces met with he had with the chief and the chief sat for a few moments and then he said to the head of the united forces I think you should know that I have instructed my people to have absolutely no contact with you in any way shape or form it doesn't matter but I told you we're the goodies and they're the baddies I mean it's obvious I just told you what they did and the chief looked looked at him most sternly, and he said, We are a moral people. And this was the head of a cannibal group. We are a moral people. We have been studying you very carefully these three days.

There hasn't been a single thing that has escaped our observation. I will not have my people contaminated by your immoral and degraded practices. Why, you kill far more than you could possibly eat.

Incidentally, our recent political campaign, if you think it was any different, if you were caught up emotionally, watch yourself.

Watch yourself. The minute you're emotionally involved, you can't think straight.

You really can't. The point is this, that whatever it is, we decide love is or is not. Whatever we decide goodness is or is not depends on what we are looking at. It depends on our point of view. View. It depends on where we're sitting. And what is right and good for one is very much the opposite for another. And we go out and we kill, we slay, we slander, we tear apart because we are very green apples on the tree of life, as our beloved Dr. Paul Foster-Cake used to say. And I think this is the best way to really express it. Green apples on on the tree of life.

And when we are green apples on the tree of life, we are going to develop fervent ideas of what is right and wrong. And along with that, we will have fervent ideas as to what is moral and immoral. And we will have fervent and fanatical ideas as to what love is and what love is not.

Now, we cannot remotely know what love is and what love is not, as long as we hold the conditioning of the mass mind lower level aspect of being, which we can't help having, but we have to learn to differentiate it. And so when we spoke last week, as we did, about the fourth Sephirah, which is mercy, which is standard, the Hebrew word for it, which has to do with the cosmic memory also included in the memory of the Higher Self, your Higher Self. Because those three sefiris, which remember, mean emanations of God, and you are an emanation of God. Don't overlook this, or you couldn't be. Be. You wouldn't be existing, you wouldn't have consciousness. These three lower ones as against the supernal triad, the white, the gray, and the black, which are the one, the indivisible, the masculine, the feminine. The next three below are like a reflection in a water or a lake. And they are actually the three which represent the higher soul, the higher mind of consciousness and our higher soul our higher mind has to do with these three which we're now considering I spoke of love lastly now I am actually in case you don't know it speaking about the Deborah which is the opposite side of the number four and is called the number number five is called the Gurbura now Gurbura is on the feminine pillar of the tree remember what I told you as you face it the right hand side is the matura part of the tree it also which I may not have told you relates to the past the left hand side as you face it is is called the feminine pillar of the tree and it relates to the future which I perhaps have not mentioned to you and the middle pillar which is called the pillar of mildness relates to consciousness learning how to understand perceive and view these pairs of opposites for its own good and you cannot do it one from the other there are those who say and and how often they have said, all we have to do is learn to love.

Let everybody walk over us.

Forgive everybody.

Just be sweetness and light.

And they think this is being spiritual. Well, everyone has to go through that stage in order to bring about an understanding and capacity to love. But the idea is what is love now if we are discussing Gurbura if you think I'm not discussing love that's where the error comes because Gurbura balances fetters that is mercy and love balance Gurbura which is called severity justice Justice, fear. Why fear? Fear is the lower art. People who know they're unevolved, whether they know it consciously or not, will fear repercussions of thoughts, emotions, and actions, won't they? People who do not trust life who do not really believe that God is love will certainly be overcome with fear in their own hearts and souls and if they think they believe in God and love if they feel fear they can be sure that they don't really believe maybe in some way but not in others for those who believe that God is love and mercy are not afraid and mercy remember is what we were discussing as love and I hammered the idea of your being willing to risk yourself in going all out to love and one of my nearest and dearest beloved ones looked at me with eyes so full of questions inability to accept because this particular beloved one of mine someone near to me has had a wonderful ability to keep a part of her nature sort of inviolate in other words she was willing to risk herself in loving up to a point but there was a little fraction that she felt must not get involved now incidentally I admire this I think it shows great strength of soul the only point is that we do not usually realize that there are areas where it is to our detriment we form a habit pattern of not being willing to go all out in love and what happens then? We block the very force, the very power that's going to grow us into the experience of cosmic love. Now what is cosmic love? I cannot give it to you in words. One of my primary jobs is to project it to you from my heart and do you know why I can do it I have been one of those damn fools I'm using that word deliberately I have been willing to risk myself I have been willing to say that my soul is strong enough to take the repercussions of wrong choice if I've made a wrong choice although there is no such thing as a wrong choice I have been willing to say to myself it is better to have the ecstasy of going all out in loving and reap the whirlwind if the other individuals have been unable to receive if their basket or cup of soul has not been able to take it that overflow then I will be hurt personally if they cannot take it all but at least I will have been willing to spread this love essence into life and so I have been willing to take the risk and let me tell you they've just practically killed me many times and yet my inner being has known that I have the strength to sort of come up a little stronger than before which I have.

Now then, this does not mean that we should go out and loosely, stupidly, really I would say almost moronically.

Pour ourselves into personal relationships which are actually disruptive or destructive. The point is we never learn what is destructive or disruptive until we have been willing to get out and test it. This is the whole thing. Things. How do we learn who and what has capacity, what type, what indication? How do we become aware of the subtleties that are involved in individuals? How do we learn to recognize recognize the things that will indicate to us just what amount or degree of love a person is capable of receiving at this point and or giving unless we are willing to experiment and it takes a strong soul it takes a strong soul and it takes an idealistic heart And it takes a high and vast aspiration to do this.

But then, that next development, Guburah, the number five, that red, which is applied, incidentally, to the sphere of Mars. And you know how Mars frightens people?

I hope you won't be frightened of Mars. I love Mars.

I mean, Mars is marvelous. Lesson because I love them all. While we're talking about Mars, let's adore Mars. The point is we cannot ever know what true justice is or is not until we have learned to love.

And justice is the thing that really fires the loving into us.

Justice but how do we know what justice is and is not that's the point how are we going to develop our awareness how are we going to develop our consciousness unless we really understand what justice is and what justice is not now a human being who loves justice is a human being who knows how to love humanity.

I don't mean those who mouth the word, incidentally. You have plenty of people who know how to make a lot of loud noises about justice.

But it takes a truly highly evolved soul to understand what justice is and is not now you have those who are full of hate and to them justice is used as an excuse for tyranny and tyranny you see anywhere and everywhere but these human beings haven't got love they're working on the opposite side of the coin they haven't remotely been able to risk their soul they haven't been able to enter into the heart of others they haven't been able to empathize they haven't been able to enter into the heart of a little creature but why would they hunt them they haven't been able to enter into the heart of the child or how could they mistreat this child neglect it, walk out on it they haven't been able to enter into the heart of the need of a human being or how would they train that human being to become militant and military and go rah, rah, rah and train them how to hold guns against their fellow man Can't you see this?

People get completely confused in that which we may call justice.

Only a human being who knows how to love, only a human being who has become willing to risk himself or herself in loving.

Only a human being who has been able to enter into the heart and soul of another in empathy participating with their inner being only such a human being knows what justice is and is not I love to bring up one of the beautiful little sayings that come from our american indians judge no man lest thou hast walked in his moccasin for three moons you know that's quite something on the other hand here is the point we as a cultist that means every single one of us must learn that unless we can apply severity severity Justice Even fear to situations that require it All our protestations of love are mouthing Weakness How often have you appeased?

I hate to tell you how often I have We all have How often have we appeased another in the name of love, when really, don't wow me honey.

I told you I'm going to be rough. Maybe they'll cut us down by 50% next time. I hope not. I want us to form together in a spirit of attainment.

Honey, darlings, attainment has to be able to accept reality love is not weak wishy-washy giving in to the weaknesses of others do you know what we do when we give in to the weaknesses of others?

We've all done it, we know it I'm not going to tell you how many times I did I'm not good at arithmetic we've all done it otherwise how could we learn we should love each other and accept each other and chuckle with each other because we've done it and incidentally we'll all do it the more we don't overcome it that rapidly but we will overcome it we work together in the method designed by those who know every step of the way those who have the map for it. The point is, how many times have we appeased evil? Remember I before I asked you how many times we appeased weakness, and do you think that I that's appeasing evil or appeasing weakness? It's a very different... think of of it for a moment.

The most important adage in the mystery, in the real initiatory mystery, which it has been my privilege to go through, and a few of you here have joined me.

Each of us have certain levels of our awareness as a result, and they don't come in a moment, incidentally. Tests and trials are not an overnight thing.

They come through various ways, but if we want to attain, we have to be ready to see, to wake up to you, and then real joy can come, real power, real love, real everything. It can and it will for those of us who want it.

That is the thing, basically, of course. But again then I ask you, how many times have we appeased weakness and evil and thought of ourselves as being spiritual and loving and exalted ourselves in our martyrdom and and looked for all the quotations in the Bible and in other literature to back up our own weakness.

How many times have we done this? The number is incalculable, and yet in a way it's nicer and lovelier than having the kind of power drive that wants to go out and save people by hitting them over the head it's an advance you know how they used to save souls by putting them on a rack well I prefer it I mean I don't mean the rack you gods I can't what a fly that's one of my problems and maybe it isn't a problem the point is how many times have we permitted evil to flourish right within the closest part of our lives how many times have we fought practically like demons or if you prefer fur like angels, to keep our loved ones from reaping the repercussions of their lack of evolution, of their immaturity.

I tell you, I worked awfully hard at it with my daughter, because our children, you know, We want so much to save them the pain, the heartache, the tribulations, the disillusionments we've had.

And I've often thought how much wiser the Cosmic Mother is than the channel the Cosmic Mother uses.

Because the channel the Cosmic Mother uses, which is also an aspect of the Cosmic Mother, that's all us hers here, and all us hims, the Cosmic Father. We're just as bad on one side or the other, depending on our basic nature.

But how often have we tried to save our offspring? Things how hard we have tried to give them of our wisdom reflected down from the number two of the tree of life down into the mercy the number four directly on that pillar and how often have we tried to hold away certain perceptions as reflected on the other side and yet notice Notice what happens, our children, God bless them, when they get to adolescence.

Mars comes up and they explode all over the place.

All those of you who have adolescence know what I'm talking about. And those of you who have books and have read about them know even more. They explode and they rebel and they drive their parents mad and almost every one of them come out infinitely more beautiful than the parents who tried to save them the problem I can't begin to tell you how lovely a daughter I finally had this is objective you understand utterly unprejudiced uh even though I tried so hard to save her of course she was a good solid active aries gal and she refused to be saved from problems She insisted on making her own mistakes.

And I said, God certainly was active. Her higher soul knew how to protect her from my desire to save her.

Haven't you had the same in different ways, different relationships? Friends, sisters, brothers, parents.

Relationships are relationships. The point is, what we forget is that that which we call justice is not bad, it is not evil, it is love in one of its most profound expressions.

That which we call justice is feared by the unevolved, and the fact that on the tree of of life here in the development of the emanations from deity from one level to the next it's the one deity expressing in its various planes what we forget is that without that which which we may call justice, there could be no growth, there could be no real love. When we really love our children, we give them discipline.

That has to do with the number five, with justice. When we really love our children, or friends, or parents, it doesn't really, whatever whatever relative it is, doesn't matter, or whatever the relationship is. When we really love, we are not going to weaken that human being.

The Eastern philosophy in itself has a saying, and the Western initiatory school has the same thing to say, though with slightly different terminology. And the idea basically is this and must be remembered that unbalanced justice is tyranny and certainly we know what terrible tyrants we can run into the power mad human beings the ones who want to run everyone and everything uh these are the unbalanced justice justice type of people who have such a fanatical idea as to what justice is or is not. Pretty much like what they did to people who stole a loaf of bread, remember?

It's a short time ago.

They killed them or cut off their hands and did other sweet things in the name of justice.

Was this justice? Their idea. Tyranny, cruelty, horror, evil truth, because it's unbalanced on the other hand, remember this unbalanced mercy and that means unbalanced love aids and abets the weakness of another tries to keep or save that person from the privilege of reaping the repercussions of their immaturity.

We therefore destroy our loved ones.

And we call it love. Is that love?

Jesus took a whip and whipped the money changers out of the temple. He called them a few good names too.

I'll bet some of it wasn't printed.

Bet you anything. He had good strong emotions. But certainly he called them generations of vipers and hypocrites that wasn't so weak was it he was mad and he didn't hide it now do you think that when you get mad you're being unspiritual that's what I want to ask you how many of you think when you get angry you're unspiritual raise your hand high high high high high real high uh some of you don't want to tell me you're bashful look it depends on what you get mad about if you get mad because somebody said they don't like the shape of your nose you're being an infant if you get mad because you hear somebody called you a you-know-what you're being immature you're taking on their values that's very immature very immature indeed but if you get mad because you see an evil perpetrator then you're expressing love and what do you think of that what do you think of that if you see somebody beating up a child or a little helpless creature and you get mad and get out and beat them up what are you showing love or hate?

Temper justice I mean you all have different things to say actually it it depends on what moved in your heart and soul when you did it now if you felt an outrage for that helpless child and the need to protect it and an indignation at the tyranny of the other it was love that made you severe and if you haven't got the the ability to be tough and severe you haven't got the ability to love in the larger measure you're just going into it in other words what we must come to understand basically then is that weakness is fed if we feed it there are some of us who are careful to support For instance, somebody who's an alcoholic.

We give them a regular income because we feel a sense of guilt about them, a responsibility. What are we doing to them?

We are making sure that they're going to remain alcoholics, aren't we?

But you see, we can't take a chance.

If it's a close relative, we can't take a chance on their drinking themselves to death or falling down the steps or killing themselves, so then we blame ourselves.

So are we showing love?

Or are we expressing guilt? And is that love?

Real love is out for the growth of the other soul, but doesn't decide what that growth is, because that's tyranny.

Real love protects tenderly that which is helpless it is true and it is full of compassion this is true but remember also that we have savages walking around in human form shall we hate them this is falling into the trap of the evil forces hate forget hate hate, but there is such a thing as righteous indignation which protects that which should be protected, which does not see the evil and weakness of others in order to feel safe or to assuage its own guilt.

It is a very narrow razor edge indeed to learn how to walk that middle pillar using both not one or the other but both depending on which is needed to swing in one direction or the other therefore bear in mind you could not have life without severity severity or judgment or justice, whichever term you give it, depending on what level it's working on. If you had nothing but the continuous benevolent outflow of the Hesed Force, do you know that you, for instance, just the breeding of a couple of codfish within a very few short months, certainly not more than a year or two, they would, and within ten years, so without any question, they would not only have filled all the oceans so that everything else was dead, say that they couldn't die, but they would fill this whole planet from here, I think it's been estimated, to approximately the planet Mars, maybe farther, all around.

In other words when we think that destruction is bad and construction is good again we're falling in a trap if you want to attain to the highest and surely you want to or you wouldn't be here you must understand that there are some things we have to destroy in order to build anew and let me tell you that was the toughest thing for me It was a period in my earliest time in occultism, when I was under very extraordinary and violent psychic attack. And incidentally, I didn't believe in psychic attack at the time, which made it that much more interesting.

And an adept who had been training me in very potent techniques, which is indeed the reason that got me to light up like a light, which attracted the forces. These are the tests and trials to stop, because this is what strengthens us. The more we go along the path, the more powerful we can become for good. The more we light up and other energies of the opposite kind whirl in magnetically to stop us, and this is necessary, as a part of our own growth. Only as the strength of that bridge or steel or soul is tested against a certain weight, are we ready to get more energy from the Most High and use it in power, in love, and in fulfillment. But of course at that time I was so extraordinarily young, I'm only 22 now, so you can imagine how young I was.

And I didn't believe in psychic attack. That sounded like the most stupid superstition in the world.

Oh, a lot of people blame all their problems on psychic attack. That's another way of just excusing themselves from their own problems. You know if anything goes wrong well somebody else is responsible for it that doesn't work either anyway I wasn't buying it but the point is that I did find out during that period and it was a very important thing to find out uh that it was my own uh unwillingness to learn how to discriminate between what forces could or couldn't come in. I was told to do a certain thing in order to dissipate or dissolve the energies which were attacking me, and I looked up in horror at this particular adept.

That was several, about, not quite a year before I was brought to Dr. Cate. It was quite a test I was going through, of course. I looked at horror on him and I said what destroy well I believe in love and construction and building and you're asking me to use my energies to destroy and I started thinking God yeah I always thought he's such a saint is he from the dark forces or something oh I got very suspicious I was always quite suspicious anyway when it came to certain things like that or skeptical the goal but that's how determined I was that one must never be willing to destroy anything today I say to you we have to be willing to destroy our ignorance we have to be willing to destroy our old pattern.

We have to be willing to destroy whatever condition is interfering with the next step on the journey of light. And we have to do it with love.

In other words, when you thank your child because it's trying to run across the street and traffic is heavy. You're doing that with love and you're trying to destroy a pattern of deliberate lack of discipline, aren't you? And place a new pattern. Well this is what we do with the channel. This is what we do with the tree, with the paths. We do it even more intensely as we go along. There are different grades that we work with here. And you have to be willing to destroy the old patterns that have been keeping you miserable you have to be willing to give up your masochism you have to be willing to dissolve all those things in your mind and heart which have been keeping you tied to ignorant interpretations and misinterpretations you have to stop being like the cannibal chief or the head of the united states forces because they were both full of their own conditions you have to be willing to become a whole person this is the whole point and you have to realize that you are just as responsible for the weakness and the evil that others perpetrate upon you if you accept it and let it grow in your area as the reverse is true and though we cannot change another human being really basically and should not even really attempted because if we do all we do is find our energies dissipated and all the things going on and analyzing what's wrong with them and that's not going to work for your evolution if they can be helped they'll be helped because you are able to emanate higher vaster power through because you are able to express deeper, faster, more complete love. They will be helped if they are open to that level of emanation. And if not, then you're going to have to be willing to let them go through whatever they require, because whether you're willing or not, they're going to anyway. And so why not be comfortable about the whole state of affairs? That's the point. You don't have to be miserable like you've been.

The point is, if you keep trying to hammer people over the head where they cannot receive, or if you keep trying to hammer yourself over the head because you love being a masochist and it makes you feel spiritual, in either case, you're interfering with that which is is going to bring you love, fulfillment, spiritual awareness, attainment, and therefore keep you from serving the hierarchy, as you should. Have we been tough? We've meant it. Have we been rough? This is severity and justice. But believe me, justice is love.

It is love. And if you trust your higher soul, and if you will trust God you will not be afraid of justice or severity you will be able to use it and you will be able to accept it and life will become something so much more glorious than you can remotely realize at this time we're on our way what we're going to take up next time is the idea of a Christ the sacrificial Christ the crucifixion the true ego go, beaded in the hearts of men, which has to do with that yellow sphera. And then now we're going to have a little intermission stretch. God knows how long I spoke. I used to have a little watch here that tells me, but I forgot to look at it most of the time.

And it disappears.

Let's have a stretch, and then we won't have questions and answers, because I want to give you a little technique anyway. What time is it, for heaven's sake?

So if you have questions and answers, write them down and get them in for next week, all right?

Let's lower the top light.

Back straight, legs uncrossed.

Without being stiff, try to get your head and spine in alignment.

Hands can be up or down, but don't clasp them.

There are some things in which clasped hands work well. In this particular technique, it's better to have them unclasped. Have them up or down as you prefer. That part will not matter. Start breathing very deeply in and very deeply out.

Now please remember in the deep breathing we try to get the oxygenation going through the full lung area. So you let your abdomen expand on the in-breath. And don't think it will make your tummy get larger, it actually develops the muscles.

And then on your out breath go all the way out and then actually pull your abdomen in so squeeze out the last bit of the carbon dioxide which would be in the lower lobe so breathe deeply in letting the abdomen go out and breathe deeply out expelling that last bit of air in order to get your whole system properly balanced.

Now I want you to do this type of breathing during all the meditational aspects of the exercise.

And when we do the chanting, you will take the deep breath. And remember to keep the chant going until the very last part of the breath. And then you'll find you have more breath by pulling the abdomen in and forcing out that last bit of oxygen and carbon dioxide from the lower lobe. So you will develop in this manner a better control of your breath. This is the safest method of breath control to help awaken the centers that which Western occultism calls the planetary centers of to stir, stimulate the kundalini energy in a safe manner. And because you have me here with my ability to see what is going on in the hall and to be able to transmit to you the powers from that which we call the Third Order or above the abyss, we have a group vehicle in function where we can handle energies of a far higher rate safely together than we could ever handle alone this helps each and every one of us individually as well as giving an opportunity to the forces of light to utilize these energies for the planet and for the evolution of all of our brothers and sisters throughout the planetary sphere bringing help to the world spirit and bringing special power to that which is required for this Aquarian age.

It is up to the few of us to be able to develop these abilities to participate in this manner and remember alone.

We are like one spark plug in an electric system. Together, so we all handle extra power, and so we benefit together. Keep breathing deeply in and deeply out.

You will find, as you work with this regularly together in our work, that your whole ability to handle this type of breathing will be improved, because it takes time, just like it takes the pianist and organist of any kind of musician time to develop the special parts of the body which make them virtuosos. It takes time to develop those special parts of the vehicle which make the vehicle receptive to specialized energies, and not only receptive to these energies but give you the ability to handle them and to project the power.

So keep breathing deeply in and deeply out in that manner. Remember to keep it going in between our chants. Now what we are going to do tonight, then, is to chant the very special divine names that have to do with this affair as we have covered up to this point. We're going to do each divine name three times, but remember as I give you the meditation in between each chant, be sure to keep your breathing going and take that deep, deep breath to the very limit that you can. It will keep increasing with practice. And then remember to chant to the very limit of your breath control it will improve and as we work this way we will be attuning every atom of our vehicles our bodies, the physical body through that the etheric through that the astral through that into the emotional body the mental body and on into the spiritual levels and areas we will attune the vibratory powers of our own being so that we will be able to express the higher powers down into the area where we must express these powers in order to attain that which we wish both for our individual development as well as for being able to help to expand the consciousness of the whole the mass mind of humanity is very low breathe deeply in and out please and it takes a certain degree or amount of vibratory power emanated from those who have reached a stage in their development where they love enough where they love enough to want to emanate enough to work in a unity in order to help bring to others the capacity to grow you have to add the cream to the milk drop by drop this is what we do when we work this way do not think that it is unimportant one feather can balance a scale and make a tip from one end to the other any one of you can be the balancing scale every one of you are to bring about the the amount of power required to tune us into the energies which will bring about that which we are all working for so desperately on the inner plane I will tell you more about that other times breathe deeply in breathe deeply out all right now then we're going to start with with our actual exercise.

Those of you who meditate better with open eyes, you may keep them open. Those who do better with closed eyes, you close them. We're all different. Let's work in accordance with our own nature. However, I want you to very particularly pay attention to the Tree of Life, unless you already have it in your consciousness. In that case, you don't have to worry about looking at it. But it is best to be able to image this tree through the entire practice, because it focuses your consciousness in a symbolic area where untold numbers of trained and linked adepts are working with you, and it brings a telepathic rapport with the extra power. You will find this out more and more as we work together in the exercises and in the understanding, the wisdom, the unfoldment that comes as a result of our mutual aspiration and work.

So breathing deeply in and out, remember, don't let that go. Keep it going through all time during the whole exercise I want you now to image yourself as being a little spot a spark perhaps no bigger than the head of a pin of white light if you can do it better with closed eyes do so white light being projected from behind the tree from what is called the einstaff hour or the limitless light of the absolute consciousness of divinity this is where you have come from this is the essence of your selfhood you came from the primal from the the primordial all-consciousness of God, you are a part of it then, now and eternally. And that spark is being evolved by divinity to become a complete self-conscious center of expression and power for the universal evolution which you've already been participating in for eons of time, you're now being prepared to become more and more aware of who and what you are, as well as the powers that you can wield, in order to help the evolution of life in every way which naturally includes your own.

So think of your selfhood as being a spark, perhaps the size of a pin, within an all-pervading beginningless and endless, a limitless light that is like a liquid or a water.

See yourself as being immersed and a part of it, above, below, behind and front, right, left.

In every direction there's no end. You are part of that and immersed in that now see a little opening before you every one of you watch this opening before you and see yourself as being propelled through this opening the beginning of the whirling the one, the indivisible taking a part of itself centering its consciousness on itself and that consciousness is a selfhood which is you you I am that I am I am existent I always have been I am now I always will be because I am I I am awareness I am awareness in the heart of eternal deity now see yourself as coming through the third point or opening within and all concentrating yourself down into more and more of a brilliance in the light similar to the very most most brilliant star you might see in a heaven and see that your center of eye is that brilliant light within an all-pervading light becoming brighter and brighter the primal point of the one the indivisible the white sphera on the tree of life called existence a hea mean I am it also means I am because I intend that I shall be it is the I am that I am that Moses experienced you are I am I am that I am see this primal point this this brilliant light as the I being compressed into awareness by infinite allness, a part of it from forever to forever.

And seeing yourself as us to begin with, we shall take the very deepest, deepest breath we can, and three times we shall intone the divine name called Ahaya which means I am and bear in mind that this is a formula the tone is a formula with vibratory notes every note and every syllable has to do with attunement to that portion of your eternal being which will awaken in you today tomorrow while you sleep a month a week a year from now certainly not very long as long as you work together to bring it it shall awaken in you that experience of the true nirvana if you keep with that idea and attitude so I am that I am because I know I am I because I have consciousness of I automatically that makes me realize that there never was a time I was not I even though my I is now being compressed for for miracle and wonder to come.

Now take a deep, deep breath as soon as you hear the tone. First listen to the tone of a haya. It is a formula of vibratory attunement.

Listen to the formula.

Now take a deep, deep breath.

I am breath air and and and and and and and and and My eye is an eternal center of consciousness for divinity. Breath I keep breathing deeply while I explain what you must do next Take that point of consciousness and start coming through that little spot that's like a pinpoint, but slightly larger. And see yourself coming through as a point or line of light.

Now see yourself as going into a circle at the very beginning of this point so that there There is practically no space between the points in the circle. Go clockwise.

Clockwise.

Keep going round.

Let this line find itself curving.

Going out is a line, but curving round and round, clockwise.

Going out into larger and larger spirals of light.

I am the spiraling light. I am forming the nebula of the universe I am forming the spiral expansion of myself go round and round you are that spiral of light clockwise create then your spiral nebula like the Milky Way like Andromeda in the heavens circle yourself round and round attempt to be aligned but find yourself drawn into a circle align and into a circle whirl round and round spirally not fast not fast breathing deeply in remember and deeply out I am that part of selfhood which is creating the beginning of my individualization I am that which is expressing through the compressing part of the light of God see the light pouring through that aperture and feeding, pressing, forcing more and more light so that the spiral has to keep whirling because more and more is coming through and therefore larger and larger the spiral becomes.

This is the expanding line of the masculine aspect of the deity which you are. This is Yod-Heh-Vah-Heh which means that which was, that which is, that which will be. This is you in that part of your being. This is where you have come from.

This is that which you have formed through that part of your beingness, which is a part of the Absolute, whirling, pressing in through that aperture, come atoms out of nowhere, pressing forward and going round and round, forming the spiral nebula out of which all else shall come, breathed deeply in and deeply out, and as the spiral nebula of light, which which is the consciousness and life and the expanding life of deity of the Absolute in which you are participating. Take a deep, deep breath and chant the Yod-Heh-Vah-Heh, deeply, fully seeing yourself as participating with the Absolute in the creation of the Milky Way Nebula within which we now reside. Take your deep, deep breath as we listen to the vibratory tone of Yod-Heh-Vah-Heh.

Make sure your breath is deep when you start to chant.

Now deep.

Yod-Heh-Vah-Heh.

I press forward from the einstap hour from behind the three veils in the concentration of the one I press forward to express the life and the light to to start the spiral forms, to bring about the beginningness of the life and the development and evolution of the life that I am.

I press forward with those that are with me, an aspect of the all.

O thou Lord, O thou Yod-Heh-Vah-Heh, I am the expansion of the nebula of my universe. Breath. Breath.

I am the life of thy light. O thou Yod-Heh-Vah-Heh, I am an aspect of thy fatherhood pressing into manifestation.

I am miracle coming from behind the veil's crest. Rest Yom Hevah V'ein Now see the spiraling whirling white light white turn into a glorious silver as a result of the odhe vahe a translucent gray-like silver glorious in glimmering now see it swirling into narrower and narrower circles from a point where it went into width see it is coming down again into narrowing spheres turning into a glorious dark indigo a very dark blue violet whirling now counterclockwise and whirling back into the outer space started going backwards now so as to form a counterclockwise motion that holds the expansion from the silvery glorious light that was going out and out into infinity round and round into everywhere and everywhere. See it making a turn back one portion of it not all of it but one aspect of it as a blue violet dark blue violet glory an indigo whirling counterclockwise back to the center see this as holding the force of life to bring about the development of your evolution because from continuous expansion nothing can happen from expansion to contraction you become aware of your eyes and your powers of amusement so see the divine mother as grasping turning curling this energy back into the selfless to bring about the evolution of forms and see it as you see yourself as taking this energy and whirling it in the other direction back round counterclockwise so that you have the glorious glimmering silver you have the brilliant dark indigo blue violet because of the livingness of the color and therefore you have a togetherness from that now it is shaped something like a cornucopia like a clone there is a spot or dot coming from behind the veil and there is this expansion out into a cone whirling in two directions the energy of the silver going clockwise wise the energy for habit happening in you the energy of the blue violet going counterclockwise that the two motions are occurring in you masculine feminine fourth form father mother light Light, dark, livingness, manifestation.

See these two opposites intertwined in love. Now feel the love that is expressing, the love of YHVH that has started a process taking place in Elohim, which we shall chant now. Now, Elohim forming the womb because of the projection of YHVH, Elohim holding the force and the light and the will of the intention of YHVH, Elohim, the womb of the universe, holding, forming, living, preparing to bring into manifestation. This is you. This is you. This is all. Now listen first to the vibratory formula of Elohim so that you may tune into the of the voice of divinity.

Listen.

Breath deep, deep, deep.

O Thou Divine Father, Thou hast planted Thy light, which has been received and woven into the womb of the Divine Mother. And now I see that thou who art my father and thou who art the womb of my mother that I too have participated in within thee and with thee O thou divine parent of my soul I melt myself into into the womb, the cone, the circle, the shape, the pair, which I have now seen and participated in, breath.

O thou Elohim, mother of my soul, light of my livingness, thou who hast received the seed of my divine father thou hast held me in the pear-shaped glory of the whirling circling motion of thy being and thou hast given birth to my eye that I may grow into full awareness and participation with thee of thee and from thee O Thou feminine glory Thou soft beauty O Thou form that has given me the ability to lift my heart and mind in response to the miracle of the livingness of the Father as expressed and grown and multiplied indeed days to thee I give my love and reverence oh thou elohim Now see, coming out from the narrow end of this womb that we have built, this cosmic womb of the spiral nebula, have a turn.

See yourself as coming out from an opening that has been expanding.

See yourself as coming out as a spark of glorious radiating blue and have this glorious radiating blue in the shape of a square and see yourself immersing as a square of blue four dimensional more of a cube theory.

See yourself as the center of this and see yourself as immersing from this across an abyss. Float yourself through infinite, glorious, miracle and mysteries of darkness, which is really light but dark as yet. See yourself as floating yourself in this glorious vivid blue in the center of the square and coming out with a knowledge that love is casting before you in order to bring you to full power and awareness and growth as child of itself. Selfless this will be the chance of superior number four whose divine name is ale this is mercy this is memory this is festive this is the part of your being which brings forth memory of all previous manifestations of the Divine Mother and Father who are yours yesterday, today and forever. See yourself as coming forth because of love. See yourself as being an expression of love within the square of the four, in the center of it. Coming out and expanding and see the square is getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and expanding out and out and out benevolence the nephesim wanting to give you anything and everything all that is all that was all it can be this is the beneficent aspect of the most wise in the center of which you are dwelling in this square receiving the generous and inexhaustible supply of the infinite blue of the the infinite heaven. See this now. And now listen to the one note which we will take on the note of the blues. Take a deep breath.

Om.

O Thou Benevolent Beneficent, O Thou Expanding and Outgoing Glory of Deity, O Thou Generosity of Livingness, Oh, Thou that givest and givest, Thou who knowest not how to stop, Thou who hast the love that must give and give and multiply in its givingness, expanding on and on. I look into the blue of the heavens I look above I look below I look behind I look before I look to the right I look to the left in all directions there is no end infinity and infinitely I see the inexhaustible riches the inexhaustible supply of the love that feeds me, loves me, holds me, grows me, expanding outward and outward. O thou beneficence, O thou benevolence, O thou mercy, who knowest all things because thou rememberest all things, being the memory of the Most High.

I enter into the heart of thee, having come from the heart of thee, as I again chant the divine name of thy holy expression.

Breath.

Let the infinite supply coming from behind the three veils, through the womb, the cornucopia of thy being, keep pressing forward and force my heart and soul to keep loving, whether Whether I know it or not, whether I think I want it or not, O Thou Ale, Thou Mercy, Thou Love, press forth, bring into and through me such pressure of the need to love that all that can matter to me is that I shall learn how to love as Thou canst love, To love as God loves. What more could I require?

This is the riches of my soul. Rest.

Now see a red dot developing in the middle of the blue square with two R's.

See it forming a line that forms itself into a circle.

See this circle developing itself into a five pointed star of pentagram five pointed with the top upward if you start at your left hand shoulder start at your left hand shoulder of the mother's foot and go up to above the head and bring it down to the right arm down to your foot and bring it crosswise up to your left shoulder and send it crosswise to your right shoulder and close up this pentagram again with your left leg you have formed a pentagram in lines of red the top point is your head the two sides are your arms the the two bottom parts are your legs, and you are the five-pointed pentagram in red.

See, this is developed from the continuous pressure coming inward from behind the veil as it changes color in its expression and its vibratory rate.

See yourself now as a brilliant red pentagram with that point above, remember, Remember, the point above, the two bottom parts are your legs, the two sides are your arms, and the topmost is your head, and above, and above.

We continue to breathe deeply in and deeply out. This then is the expression of the sefirah and the vibratory expression of Elohim Gabor and return to the feminine side then of the tree and Gabor means power might justice justice power might it also means using love for justice it also means using your human consciousness and awareness of the power of good for the power of the light because the spirit is upward on the top point of your pentagram your five pointed star is the spirit of good now see yourselves as this brilliantly vibrating see it this red vibrating breathing deeply in and deeply out This is the capacity and the ability to develop the strength, because strength is another term and expression for this particular emanation of God, which you are, and you are being trained into becoming an ever greater measure.

And now lift your mind and heart to the divinity and pray in the depth of your soul that all power that may come to you now or in the future will be yours.