Attainment on the Tree of Life - Class 1

Now then, on the Tree of Life, which you see before you there, we have a diagram which perhaps is meaningless to some of you. I know to some of you it is very meaningful because I see many faces here who have gone through our lessons, taken the work which we send by correspondence, which incidentally is the basis for all else. Those of you who are here hoping to attain illumination in these ten weeks and then call it a day will be disappointed I'm telling you this right away I have been criticized for this but I like to call a card a card you can't attain illumination in ten weeks or in six easy lessons we can plant seeds in you which will eventually sprout into illumination in this ten weeks. If we accomplish this, I shall be most happy. But there are many of you here who will realize that if there's anything at all that's important in this world, if there's anything that's really important, it's this one thing, that if there is such a thing as illumination, if there is such a thing as attainment, if we are destined to develop higher consciousness vaster consciousness deeper richer consciousness if we really have a destiny in this universe that involves the eternal awareness of our own beingness then surely nothing else counts and if this is the way to attain it then definitely we must put aside the very reasonable length of time that's necessary from our other activities in order to attain it.

Those of us who are truly sincere aspirants, those of us who have developed this glorious divine discontent, will continue and will be willing to go through the disciplines. You will not receive anything for nothing. I tell you this immediately. You will have to work for it. You will not receive even one iota of real illumination happiness awareness without doing your part of the work those who try to get something for nothing usually become caught in the web of the confidence man we get caught up in the various situations that exists in this world where we're taken advantage of to the point where we finally wake up develop discrimination here in builders of the adytum I do want you to realize we're not out for quantity we're out for quality we have nothing to gain nothing at all to gain except the joy and the satisfaction of bringing more centers of light to a greater awareness the only thing we have to gain is to know that more personalities more individuality are developing that ability which is essential in order to bring this particular planet and this particular world this particular era and the human beings upon it to that state which will assure them the ability to participate in the new age type of energy this is all we have to gain and you see this is not a personal gain Those of us who are responsible for the work of the OTA have long, long, long since given up any ideas of material gain when it comes to spiritual work.

We love all things material as being aspects of God, but no one in Builders of the Additum receives any kind of material remuneration for their own personal benefit. Please know this. That is why we can afford to say to you we're not out for quantity we're out for quality those of you who drop away will drop away for many reasons and what we do is try to hasten it that is we try to help you to drop away if you're not ready for what we have to give or if you don't happen to have the, shall we say, affinity for this path of self-unfoldment.

However, it is my personal belief that everyone in the Western world who is an aspirant has the affinity for this method of unfoldment if that person has developed enough drive, enough divine discontent and this perhaps is the secret of the tremendous value of Qabalah of the methods that are used in Builders of the Adytum to help you to attain to the states of consciousness and the states of control incidentally the fulfillment if you will which definitely come come to those who persevere. Now the tree of life, the Qabalah, is said to be the esoteric wisdom of Israel. Now what does this mean? We know that the most extraordinary development that has taken place on this planet in the last 2,000 years is the fact that a certain tradition has remained so stable that even though from Judaism you had a split where you developed a Judaism and a Christianity you still had this situation that the same holy books were utilized for spiritual development or for religious thought incidentally this has nothing to do with the class but there's a special glass that holds water that isn't here and I'd appreciate it my glass which was in my office I haven't seen it I don't know where it was placed there was no there's a special lovely little glass that some beautiful adorable wonderful and lovable member bought for the podium I don't know just where it's been put I thought about a week ago anyway the water is a very important thing for me when I am lecturing because I know most of you know this but some of you may not and those of you who know it certainly want to share this knowledge with the others I become very dehydrated while I lecture and for a very good reason my lecturing is merely the bridge work the reason this dehydration occurs is something that isn't very well understood by most people it's because I I have been very specially trained to project, you might almost say, actual essence from my own being all the time I am talking.

The speech is a vibrational bridge which is used by the higher powers that be in order to project to you the states of consciousness that it has been my privilege and joy to be be able to accomplish due to long years incidentally of discipline and I discovered long ago that a dehydration occurred and of course this isn't very serious all I do is drink more water so I say I drink something like two gallons of water uh on the days that I lecture especially afterwards and also sipping during the lectures or during any ceremonial or ritual work or during any type of special meditational work the rest of the time I just drink a little bit more than most people not very much more but energy that's given out has to be replenished and just as I mentioned to you before we get we never get something for nothing even the price of projecting certain subtle energies really is is involved in the need to receive more energy but those who've been trained to do so assimilate the extra energy through water since water is the mother of life on this planet as I think you must understand now then back to the tree of life the tree of life is a diagram on the surface but it is far more than this the qabalistic tree of life is actually the framework for special meditational exercises for indeed more than that for special spiritual disciplines it is the framework that has been able to preserve the ancient mystical teachings that were first received by the jews and the and held in sacred trust by the jews and then gradually evolved into even larger expressions so that more and more people were able to utilize this, that is, people who were ready for the use of really high types and profound types of growth and unfoldment.

Now, what do I mean by the diagram being used in this manner?

Well, let's consider meditation. Most human beings say they have difficulty in meditating most human beings claim even that they don't know what meditation is many people who say I am in meditation who think they meditate incidentally are usually lost in nothingness and aren't really meditating either the truth is that very few people really know how to meditate some people are aware of it some people think they meditate though they don't and a few of very few know what meditation actually happens to be now meditation really happens to be something that only a certain uh evolutionary levels accomplish by evolutionary levels I mean human centers who have achieved a certain degree of self-conscious awareness until we have achieved that usually any attempts at meditation break down inevitably they must now let us go back in our consciousness to approximately 6,000 years ago at approximately that time it is said that a certain little tribe of people who lived somewhere in the Near East received very special teachings and instructions which were based on their ability to accept a monotheistic idea and attitude towards the cosmos now what do we mean by monotheistic that is they had evolved in some way and which way I will explain to you through this series incidentally and it involves you too they had evolved in some way an ability or a capacity and a willingness to receive a very new idea which had had not been known on this planet by the centers of life, which we call humanity, up to that time.

They were willing to receive the idea that God is one, something that simple. Up until that time, there was a plurality involved. There was a God of thunder and a God of rain, a God of light. In other words we had a sort of multiple type of worship that was pretty basic or worship of material things there were many kinds of worshiping because man has a need to worship and has always had this need to worship from the time he became man but in this particular area and by these few few people comparatively speaking there was this willingness to receive a very new and original and extraordinary idea god is one and incidentally the name of that god mistranslated jehovah was called actually tetragrammaton or it was involved with the four holy letters yod-heh-vah-heh which means that which was that which is and that which will be in other words there was no name given to it at all not by the individuals who received the teaching this teaching was basically what we see here represented on the tree of life was called the Qabalah the Qabalah actually if you break it down means what it comes from a root which means to be able to receive to be able to receive that is becoming receptive to teachings that relate to reality or truth this is the more rounded idea involved in the word qabalah to be able to become receptive all the teaching and training that BOTA gives you involves this one idea for you to be able to train yourself mind you we will not really train you we give you the material you have to train yourself you can't get it without effort remember we get we don't get anything for nothing and effort is what we have to put out nevertheless the ability to receive the capacity to receive is really involved involved with a certain evolutionary level of consciousness. This we will grant.

Still, we feel that most human beings who are guided by the Higher Self to be OTA are ready to work on that particular level and principle. Now then, to receive has many ideas involved in it, of course. But remember, this is not involved with the idea of just receiving anything like a lot of garbage from the more lowly or more immature types of personalities. This is being able to receive reality, truth, teachings that have to do with larger ideas. Now the reception then or the ability to receive was apparently achieved to begin with in this area for the higher teachings to be be to be brought to this planet was received by a group of people who were called the Israelites a very small group indeed at that time and according to tradition when asked who gave them this teaching always the reply was the angels now what was meant by the angels meant this really meant beings who had a higher level of consciousness and evolution and who were not anymore involved with the physical vehicles in their own consciousness on this particular planet this is one of the ideas involved because there are many meanings for angels and angels incidentally has a lot to do with Qabalah. There are all the terminologies you have been so accustomed to in Western culture. Archangels, angels, principalities, fairies, elves, all the little creatures, all the ideas that involve the many aspects or expressions of divinity, you will find that these are all contained in the teachings on Qabalah now remember that at that time when the Qabalah is said to have been taught to a few enlightened people now mind you this wasn't taught to all these people who we call the Israelites to a few enlightened people who had come up out of the genetic strain of the the Israelites when this particular teaching was given it was given under trust in other words it was given in a way which some of us call oral or perhaps by direct perception or by ability to achieve a lift of consciousness so that there was a mutual interflow of conscious awareness between beings on a higher level and ourselves this has to do with the hierarchy of course and I know that right here for example we have quite a number of you who have developed the ability to sense things that others cannot sense just like some people can hear things within a smaller range than others higher and lower tones some people can see things and a greater or a lesser distance of course this has nothing to do with becoming farsighted when you pass 30. and I made it 30 if you remember became necessary but the point is that we can we all have different ranges in our seeing vibratory areas in our hearing vibratory areas and in our tactile vibratory areas some of us just with the tip of our fingers can touch the skin and we can become aware of all kinds of emanations or sensations that have to do with with the person's emotional and mental state others just feel repelled without knowing why others think it's very nice others think it's more than nice it all depends on your vibratory range and of course on the affinities still it has to do with an ability to be aware of the tactile area of our sensation in the same way we have individuals who are able to reach into larger or expanded areas of consciousness just like we have people who are more aware on the sensory areas and of course here is where we come into one of the basic teachings in qabalah which is so different from the eastern uh philosophy And it is mainly this that whereas the Eastern philosophies having become aware through various meditational techniques that the universe is based on Mind or that consciousness is that is that which has created the universe having come to that idea they then Proceed to try to get us to sort of leave all this nonsense behind to evolve ourselves away from it to turn our back on matter on the physical universe and to achieve nirvana or and or the buddhic state and so on which would be very fine if it were in harmony with reality but you see the one and true teaching as far as I'm concerned is mainly this that the divinity or deity would never have gone to all the trouble it has gone to notice how I say it I hope you're not insulted because I'm going to show you both the masculine and feminine aspects of deity as we go along in this course and try to help you to understand some of the polarities so it'll take a special class after that I think where I will try to give you a true and complete a possible at this time understanding of the masculine-feminine principles both in deity and therefore in ourselves.

Nevertheless, the point is that in the area of Qabalah, in the ability to develop or participate in evolution consciously, we have something very different from that which has been mostly promulgated in the eastern philosophies and it is mainly that it is our destiny and indeed our responsibility to bring deity to earth in other words every cell in your body every atom every molecule that makes up every cell every atom that makes up every molecule your whole consciousness your thinking your feeling your living beingness must evolve to the point where it expresses deity where deity contains you and you contain deity in other words God has to be brought to earth to express in and through these glorious miraculous vehicles that we are these astonishing improbable personalities that we are this is the Western Qabalistic idea and has been basic in Qabalah down through the ages and it is not that Qabalah has not seen that the universe has been created by consciousness Qabalah has seen this indeed as I shall I'll show you.

In fact, I shall prove it to you. How do you like that? Isn't that a strong statement? I love strong statements when I can make them.

But this I shall definitely show you without any question.

So you can see we have some adventures ahead of us indeed.

Now, if you sort of feel a bell ringing within your mind, within your heart, with this idea, you certainly are ready for us. But if you still want to escape to the never never lands if you want your nirvana it's all right you still need that and we bless you and we love you because sooner or later every soul will be pressured by its own higher self which is a spark of divinity to bring whatever it finds to earth and bring about the redemption of earth that's part of the biblical phraseology you know I'm going to give you a lot of that in this series, incidentally, to help you understand the Bible a little more thoroughly. Now then, remember, the whole Old Testament was given to us by the Jews.

All right. Now I have heard, and my heart is wet, I have heard some of you say at times, huh, all that murdering and pillaging and raping and so on, but isn't that in all literature?

All humanity has this in its literature at various stages. I have heard some of you become enmeshed and watched you in my inner vision become enmeshed in the propagandas of separatism in the hatreds that develop therefrom and my heart has wept maybe it's foolish for me to let my heart weep in fact my higher soul thinks it's foolish but you know one of the wonderful things to me is that I have the freedom to let my heart be foolish where it feels deeply and I think deity loves me perhaps a fraction more than it did the moment before I was so foolish just like we do our children haven't you watched your pets and your children do foolish things and hasn't your heart sort of melted with tenderness really melted with tenderness just a little bit more because of it you know that's a sort of good thing we can get deity to love us very much more if we keep this principle of mind provided we also help ourselves grow up after we've had our pleasure uh in realizing uh this wonderful thing it helps us to get over guilt complexes incidentally once we see this and this is part of the work that we're all going to be doing together help to wash some of the nonsense out of our hearts and souls all right then we see how in qabalah the basic teaching and training ideas that are involved have to do with discipline with learning how to meditate truly meditate with learning how to understand who and what we are with learning how to understand cosmology both in its uh macrocosmic sense that is the infinite sense or the universal sense and its microscopic sense that is in the sense of the individuals and to utilize this understanding this awakening awakening to utilize these realizations, these perceptions, so that we can bring them down to earth and express them in and through the center of our being. Now bear in mind that when we work with the Qabalistic system, we are not working with something that is unknown or untried. Some Some people like to tell you that because a thing is old it is marvelous.

Well there are some things that are old that aren't marvelous at all and we're very happy that they've become extinct. And we'd fight like you know what if anybody tried to revive them. On the other hand there are some things that are old that have stood the test of time and have grown as a result of this test. And Qabalah is this. Because as the years went on, Qabalah has become stronger and stronger as an influence on the evolution of humanity.

Having been received by this group of people, and incidentally just by the few, that is the vanguard of evolution, remember, it then developed as a method gradually and evolved as all things must. Now before we go on to the evolution of Qabalah I am going to take you with me on a very condensed journey that has to do with the Qabalistic teaching of evolution that is cosmology so that you can see how modern science has at last caught up with reality as taught by Qabalah although most of the individuals involved don't know it yet but be sure they will they will all right together we're going on a journey right now you as a center of consciousness are able to travel back to your very beginnings if you ever had a beginning and you did incidentally as far as the evolution of yourself as an individualized center of consciousness you know you did have a beginning there you'd have to have had wouldn't you so you never have had a beginning as far as being a part or aspect or spark or essence in the all or divinity or you couldn't be here could you I wonder if you realize this in other words there's never a time that you haven't been in existence if you you think of existence before this existence became personalized.

Because if you hadn't been a part of divinity, you couldn't be anything now, since divinity is all there is. I hope you can follow that thinking, because this is Qabalistic reasoning that I'm giving you right now, without getting you involved in Qabalistic terminology. Those of you who are serious, those of you who realize that there's nothing on god's green earth that's important except following the methods that will bring you to your own attainment and awareness will understand and will want to follow further or more deeply the elements that are involved the rest of you the seed has been planted it will grow it will grow now then as I said we're taking a journey magnificent journey a journey that is unsinkable and yet because we are sparks of divinity we can sink it a journey that's impossible but because we are parts of deity we're making it possible because you see we are creative centers of divinity and as creative centers this means we have imagination imagination and this imagination of ours is fantastic uh here we train you how to use it in harmony with reality and god to make your lives really worthwhile this is what you learn here but not overnight and then you have to do it all right then this glorious imagination of ours let's travel with it back back back back when did we begin when did we begin when we were born from our mother's womb could that have been your beginning then how were you grown how were you grown could you suddenly have sprung up with an eye? Qabalah says no. Qabalah says if you've got an eye, capital I, you remember in the Bible, I am that I am? If you have an eye, it's because that I always was before Abraham I was that's Qabalah that is Qabalah before Abraham I am and that is the name of the first Sephirah that you see there that white circle number one Kether I am is one of its many names now if you think many names if they taught God is one what is all this manyness about here is the extraordinary the extraordinary perception and spiritual genius of these people who were the vanguard were able to receive these amazing spiritual revelations the fact that they were we're able to perceive that one can be, that is, divinity can be the all, the one, the one, and still be the many at the same time. Not by separation, as I have always liked to say. In a sense, you might say by division. Isn't that how cells multiply right here on earth? As above, so below but by division not where it loses itself you take a number one and you just put an imaginary line in the middle you can say there are two parts to the one then you can put imaginary lines between the two others and you you have them multiplying away like mad just like cells do living cells I mean yet still this is the one these are imaginary divisions and remember what I said we're taking an imaginary journey and imagination is not on reality this you will come to see more and more many of you know this you've imagined problems haven't you had them may haven't you remember Job what I feared has come upon me imagination is a vital force is the creative a force of divinity and we're learning how to use it of course all right then if you are thinking properly I hope you can see you couldn't have started when you were born out of your mother's womb because you were already a tremendously complex organism go back did you start then when your father's spurta mazoa that is the one that was lucky and won if it was lucky those of us who are unhappy think it wasn't so lucky and those of us who are joyous think it was a lucky it depends on our mood of the moment doesn't it just how we're going to interpret it at any rate did you begin when your father Spurto Mazzola won the race and got to the oven fertilized the ova of your mother and started a mad multiplication of cells that ended up in this extraordinary recapitulation of evolution that brought out a baby have you studied what What happens to the embryo in its mother's womb?

The single cell divided? What makes them stay together? This is the question.

Why do they stay together to bring about a vehicle, which we call our body? We're going to have to go back some more then.

And what would make this happen unless something were compressing it or holding it together into an organization. Can you imagine organization taking place without a mind? For instance, can somebody organize anything unless there's a mind organizing it?

Certainly, can't you see that the organization of the growth of a vehicle in your mother's womb, do you see the fantastic complexity of this organization?

Can't you see that a mind would have to direct it? Otherwise, how would it stay organized? Wouldn't it fall apart? An organization is what? Something run by a head with all the very, the whole hierarchy coming down from that head. You may call it the president or the prolocutor general, isn't it horrible? Terrible terminology, but I inherited it, darling, so don't blame me.

And at any rate, we can go on and keep expanding the idea, the president of a company, the mayor of a city you have to have an organizing head and then a whole hierarchy going downwards no matter what it is that you consider you can't manufacture anything you can't make anything without a thinking organizing consciousness that's organizing it so your cell two cells your father's spurtum is O and your mother's OVA now how could they have continued an organization that went on into such a fantastic line of evolution that exactly incidentally duplicates whatever our scientists have found about the organization of vehicles on this planet except they skip certain groups in a way or else science hasn't seen how to how to understand some of the apparent little jumps that take place one or the other at any at any rate wherever you have organizations you must say a consciousness is organizing it therefore your consciousness had to be organizing your vehicle well what do you want to say your mother's consciousness was but she wasn't she was either happy or sorry she was either bawling your father out or else praising him for his great abilities depending on whether she wanted you or not at the moment still deity saw to it. Deity saw to it that you were brought about whether your mother wanted you or not.

Because all of us are part of the whole infallible necessity of evolution.

Whatever the personal centers may think or want at the moment. We may have a certain degree of freedom of response, but there are certain parts of our being which are part of the whole and must act in accordance with the laws of the cosmos. So certainly your consciousness had to be involved in the growing of your vehicle. Your mother didn't do it. You'll say, oh her subconsciousness did. I heard a few of you say that in your heart. What do you mean her subconsciousness did? Do you think because you have a word you understand what it means? What does that mean? Her subconsciousness did. Quite a few of you immediately were trying to excuse it there in your thought processes we make the mistake of thinking because we've named something that we understand it what is subconsciousness what do you mean her subconsciousness qabalah says subconsciousness isn't hers or him it's ours subconsciousness is the universal universal substance that has embedded within it the knowledge of its whole experience and we all share in it just like every lagoon every lagoon though it looks like it's an isolated bit of water has an undercurrent it's fed by the ocean and so it rises and falls with the tides even though it looks isolated so when you say my subconsciousness you're making a mistake you have a lagoon in which you have a certain amount of tremendous powers and and you can really have a lark I mean you can have a tremendous time with your imaginary creative abilities by imaginary I don't mean they're false I mean creating in and through that divinity in you which is able to imagine and therefore build and collect atoms around that image so that finally it manifests I mean you're all familiar with that idea I hope if not you will be before we're through so the point is uh don't give me the excuse in your minds or hearts so well oh that's subconsciousness because we don't know what subconsciousness is until we've experienced it directly and I have therefore I know there are certain areas in which I can speak very positively and that's one of them I know what cosmic subconsciousness is I haven't experienced it once I would hate to tell you how often and I'm aware of the principles involved that's why I know that none of our thoughts or emotions are private now that may horrify you but that rather delights me. I like the idea. Maybe I love humanity. You know, some people are foolish enough or lucky enough to have reached a perception where they can, and I do. I know one of my very dearly beloved fraternal brothers said to me once, how come you let everybody sort of touch you and things like that? Don't you get too close to them? You know, the kind of thinking and feeling they do.

I don't see that's bad you take on some of their vibrations and of course he had a point there incidentally on the other hand there's another point also because I happen to know that whether I touched you with my physical hands or not my aura extends due to my ability to experience the one the indivisible and I experience that more than most so there are some who experience it more than I do I'm glad to say I know I don't think it isn't a theory I don't have to believe I don't need any blind faith I happen to know by direct experience that everything you think and feel affects me everything I think and feel affects you I know this and because I know it I also know that your burdens are mine your joys are mine I also have a greater sense of responsibility towards you because of my knowledge because I know that if I hate I know that if I feel separatism I know that if I let the immature parts of my being run away with me that I am hindering you I am giving you a very powerful energy to react to I know that when I spread my love I'm sparking your ability and capacity to love your husbands your wives your sisters your brothers your children I know to the degree that we learn to love each other that we're expanding our capacity to love all else. This is the teaching of Qabalah, basically. Although it takes a strong soul, I must admit, to withstand the awarenesses of some of the nonsense, the tantrums that the immature children of God can go in for. And we do not deny this.

We do not deny it. And there are times when I'll spank. Incidentally, I've learned to spank pretty good though it took me a while where I see that a tantrum is making a child of mine a spiritual child of mine apart an aspect of God run away with himself or herself so you see this hasn't to do with being sort of mushy in Qabalah we face reality and we keep bringing more of God into man and the more we get into ourselves the more we give to others because we learn how the stronger the soul the more it withstands the immaturity is the more it learns to experience experience its selfhood capital S and helps others so to do this is my responsibility it's also my privilege all right now then in this journey I hope that you're starting to see that consciousness had to create anything that's organized a typewriter can't create itself nor can any machine and certainly the organism of man is the most extraordinarily complex thing that exists so we go back then then what has been organizing it well we're not going to go backwards in this way I'm going to ask you to take a jump now you you're an aspect of divinity so you can do it come with me now and jump all the way back, all the way back. Jump to what could have been or may have been the beginning, the very beginning of the universe. You say there was no beginning to the universe? There's always a beginning to organized physical substance and there's always an end to organized physical substance because it organized physical substance is in a state of evolution and so there has to be both a beginning and an end to that part that doesn't mean as a beginning and end to consciousness though because if there's a beginning what you have to to say is this. Consciousness. Consciousness had to begin it. Does somebody start building a house unless consciousness began it and finishes it? Can somebody build anything? So we go back. Now, some of you may say, why does she go on like that? I believe in God. That's not enough.

It is not enough to believe that's why we are so persistent in the things we have to teach you you have to know if you are believing you're liable to believe any kind of nonsense suppose you believe some things that are true good but you're also going to believe a lot of things that aren't true if you're going to be satisfied with just believing no you have got to demonstrate it if you can't demonstrate it you don't know it's really so do you know you'll say well I know my heart tells me well let me tell you the heart told lots of people that unless they believed in a certain religion during a certain period they were doomed and so out of the heart telling them their love, and I put the word love in quotes, made them put these people on the rack.

And we have in history tears streaming down the faces of the so-called religious human beings because they loved the person's soul so much that they would destroy them to make them believe that unless they had a certain dogmatic idea they were doomed. You think believing is enough no that's again the reason we say we're not out for quantity we're out for quality here because we intend to guide you step by step through the lessons you receive in the detailed training and the work we do here to project to you the realities that it is my privilege to know we intend for you to know by direct experience to become masters of your own destiny of your own mind and heart and soul to become masters of your own environment and by so doing to fulfill that which divinity has for you and to bring about for humanity that which divinity intends and you cannot do it if you just believe you've got to know and so we are guiding you step by step to have realizations and awakenings and I project them some of you have them here at class some of you have them later it takes some seeds take a little longer than others to grow but if you have the receptivity qabalah is the reception if you have the receptivity the seed gets planted and if you keep feeding it and nourishing it with the work and energies here it will grow and you will have step by step and not all at once that which you are searching for so you may all at once have a vision that shows you how worthwhile it is to continue going step by step you may have a peek into what you're going to be and realize it as being a now an eternal now but that is another matter at any rate the universe had to have a beginning and of course our modern scientists have been finding this is so although we have many theories whichever theories there are or whether the universe is a continuously created universe or whether it was all a condensed something and suddenly exploded. The point is that from a single type of atom called the hydrogen atom with a nucleus and one electron evolving about it, in the infinity of space. Now come with me there right now in our journey. Forget what you are at the moment. Drop your idea of personality and selfhood and become an observer and look at the infinity of space let your consciousness sweep above below right left forward backward backward space but it'll always curve upon itself it will always curve upon itself because consciousness always returns to itself that's why everything is a sphere you know. Whatever you see or look, it's always related to your own seeing, isn't it? Therefore, whatever you look at, no matter how far you stretch your consciousness, it will automatically make a circle and return to itself. In other words, it unfolds a space, and that unfolded space is the space in which you are evolving your center of consciousness, which is the center in deity, and directed by deity because you are that that is a center in deity so your consciousness will always return to itself and this is what makes every central atom go in circles this is what makes every atom collect together now there in outer space our telescopes find what we find that the single atoms have a tendency to collect together into whirling circles and they go round and round is probably what makes us dizzy, you know. We haven't become accustomed to it yet.

Maybe it takes time. At any rate, these are the going round and round of these atoms around each other has to do with what is called the power of gravitation. Now in Qabalah, this power of gravitation again is related to the idea of the central core or the oneness of deity because everything has a tendency to try to recollect into its compressed center because of what because God is love isn't love attraction gravitation is attraction God is love and where these atoms came from incidentally is something we won't bother with now but I'm going to give you some exercises right here in class as we go on together to sort of try to give you an idea of so that your consciousness will have something to chew on and meditate on to help you experience very extraordinary things in your own being. Nevertheless, think of this. Everything has a tendency to be attracted. Every body is attracted to every other body, B-O-D-Y. And in the same way, you might say, well, I sure hate so-and-so. That's beside the point. We're talking about the physical gravitation. The mental emotional evolutions usually follow later in different ways.

But the gravitation of simple structures like a single atom together makes what happen. We have nebulas when we look out into space. They're whirling spirals which are doing what? Within themselves they form smaller spirals which do what? They keep compressing and compressing you know like sardines they press and press into each other until finally they sort of have a conflagration and you have a sun born then they keep compressing and compressing and what happens these single atoms become more and more complex so that from a simple something you have something more complex happening now let's come to our solar system in our solar system we have the very simple body and I repeat the simple body of the Sun. Now our Sun and every Sun in the universe is far more simple because it only has a certain amount of elements that have been born by compression incidentally. Our Sun is far more simple than is for instance our planet Earth or any other planet. It is far more simple and here we come to one of the ideas that is very basically involved in Qabalah that evolution is actually God evolution is actually life we cannot say when did evolution begin or when did life begin what happens is that God or life or the one starts concentrating a center within itself now mind you listen to this carefully it isn't a center it isn't a center it concentrates a center like you can concentrate on a center or something it concentrates a center within the everythingness in order to organize itself into more consciousness look at this planet for a moment look at evolution on this planet we have elements that go from the number one which is the hydrogen atom having one electron whirling around it you know with one core at the center to elements that go up to a hundred and something which means a hundred and something electrons whirling around the core with a hundred and something of the positive charge in the middle plus a few little extra goodies that they throw in as they get more complex but the point is on this planet you have an extraordinary number of more elements than you have in the sun or in any sun actually and you have this because the planet is a more complex type of form now on this planet you have another thing then that develops. On this planet you have these various elements start gathering together, they fall in love with each other, they start immersing themselves in each other under very extraordinary conditions and they start becoming what? On this planet they start developing themselves from atoms which are called when their group of them are together called elements, they start developing themselves into compounds. In other words like an atom of one thing will join with an atom of another thing and then it'll become something new entirely I've often loved bringing out the idea of salt now we can't live without salt but it takes two atoms that are poisons in themselves when they gather together as elements to make salt but once they gather together once they get married once they fall in love and become a new being that is they start cooperating with each other how by becoming a more complex organization you have a new birth you have salt in the same way you have all these different uh compounds that are evolved right here on earth because of the earth itself having more complex or organized elements then out of that a an amazing thing occurs according to evolution with science and qabalah has always taught this this is a a point they say we've only recently learned things no qabalah has always known that from the simple you evolve into the complex they start with number one and they go around to ten but remember they also keep increasing their numbers in other ways which I will show you because they say god creates through geometry through number and this is exactly what science is found you add more and more numbers to your atoms you add more and more numbers by compression incidentally in other words colonies come together and they start cooperating so that when you have a whole bunch of compounds that have come together and started to cooperate then you have something that evolves it's able to express the organization which brings a more advanced state of beingness Now God has not been absent from the single atom. God has not been absent from the element, nor have you incidentally. This is your evolution we're talking about, not something away from you.

God or you, that center which you call I AM, has not been absent from the compression of these various elements into compounds, from the compression and organization and association of these compounds, the cooperation of these compounds with each other to become what? Molecules from the compression and development and organization of these molecules which finally develop a cell and your body is made up your physical body is made up out of trillions of cells which are made up out of the molecules and the compounds, you are the atoms that were flung into space before the beginning of time. You are that.

Your body, whatever complexity it has evolved on the physical plane, your body is made out of the stars, out of the infinite universe. Your body right now holds atoms that were perhaps created billions of years ago. If you want to go and look through a telescope and have some great astronomers show you some distant galaxy, your body could have atoms from a galaxy that doesn't exist anymore. More because we look out into space through a telescope and we see what isn't there we see into six seven eight ten billion years ago and perhaps more so we look out and see into 10 billion years ago do you realize the vastness of this if your consciousness can see into 10 billions of years years ago by looking at a picture of 10 billion years ago and we don't know what's there now it certainly isn't there anymore because it took the light 10 billion years to get to what the camera collected that's why it was 10 billion years ago so you see what happens to the past now this is what Qabalah has always said that we are coexistent with everything that has ever been before time began and that's you whatever atoms you have in what you call your physical body are collected around you why because you have evolved a consciousness that has been able to go to collect from the whole universe incidentally and from the sun and from this planet more and more organized forms in other words you have more and more become a center of consciousness which means what you have been in the process of evolving and I know that I am and I am and we cannot tell you how long in physical terms and yet you have always been I am but you did not know you were just like you didn't know it when you were first born because we recapitulate these things now qabalah has stated at all times that all things start from the primordial point from the simple and by love and compression that's why they call the number one the beginning of the whirling the point within the circle isn't that interesting qabalah knew this because naturally higher levels of consciousness knew this and they taught it to the israelites because a few people had evolved in that particular group who were able to accept that tremendous idea that god is one and that everything that exists is an evolving center of that one now why one would ask would god have had to take from the simple and start bringing it into more and more compression to bring more and more organization do you realize the organization involved in your body do you know why the human vehicle is the most highly evolved consciousness because it's the most complex you go up the line and you find the more organized and complex the body the more degree of consciousness of imagination of personality of will and of ability to affect and change the environment is involved and when we come finally to the human vehicle what have we got we have something that is fantastic and utterly improbable as I find to say we have something that has become aware of itself it has turned its consciousness around just like the universe is said to be curved just like I said all light travels in curves everything develops into a sphere because of these curves we have developed the ability to curve our center of consciousness around to ourselves and start saying I am I in other words we have achieved the first major and primary step of evolution we have become something that makes it inevitable that as long as we continue in the way we're going we are going to become god men god men which incidentally in qabalah and in the bible is said to be higher than the angels men gods no god men yes this is what we are after now the reason we have been able to start turning our consciousness around is what because we achieved a complexity of vehicle with a kind of brain finally and incidentally we grew it step by step by step we grew it some people who look at evolution say well if god has been growing these uh parts of us our bodies and so on why did god make so many mistakes look at the dinosaur period what do we mean how do we know god made mistakes god is life how do we know as god is life how do we know that during that period while god was fixing conditions for the next step it wasn't god's great pleasure to prance around in the dinosaur level of self-being think of it this way once we have achieved the complete consciousness of who and what we are and this I am going to help you do in every way I can if you are willing to do your part we realize this that we are not what we are at this moment we are everything we've ever been now whatever we were say a million years ago a billion years ago a few thousand years ago incidentally according to qabalah we keep reincarnating on this planet then on other planets, then in the sun back and forth, and finally in other suns.

We are a continuously evolving being, a center of consciousness in, for, and with deity. But the point is, how do we know there's been a mistake? Wouldn't it be better to say that deity, in building special conditions, also gets in there and enjoys it, Qabalah says that life and more life is what deity is after in and through us. Therefore, be hungry. Don't follow. I repeat, do not follow the teachings that tell you to kill desire, to give up wanting anything. This is the opposite of what true perception and experience can tell you. I ought to know. I followed the Eastern teachings once. I know. It is not correct. I know. I've gone further. I've gone beyond the Nirvana. I promise you, my darlings, I've gone beyond it, and I would not lead you astray. My love is too complete to remotely let me do this.

You can develop more and more hunger for life which can be fulfilling.

And yet, you can also recognize that every bit of hunger is something to want even if it isn't fulfilled yet because that means you're alive.

Aren't you dead when you stop hungering?

What do you mean? You who've read so many books quoting and prattling some of you alas and precious ones about what we've got to do is kill out desire and give up wanting physical things and so on of course we want to give up being materialistically oriented he who thinks that that fulfillment is in getting things is indeed buried in nonsense but life will teach that person Still, if that person is hungry for things, that person is better off because they'll reap the repercussions of getting what they want and having it turn to dust in their mouth and ashes on their tongue. And they'll keep growing. They're better off than the person who says, I will give up desire. I will return or find or try to achieve nirvana. God is life. God is evolution. You are life. You are evolution. You are the vanguard of evolution. This is what Qabalah says. As the vanguard of evolution, you have a responsibility to your own center of selfhood. You have struggled and torn. You have been tormented and you have wept and you've laughed and you've pushed and you've compressed to make yourselves the extraordinarily unique and glorious personalities that you are today oh you think you haven't got a glorious personality nonsense I'm going to thank you we're all unique no one but you can let divinity share with you the way you think, feel, behave, know, grow. You are unique. You are a color in the universe that has never been duplicated and cannot be because you are your own group of beingness, of your own line of evolving, expanding consciousness. So remember, Qabalah says that God is life. God, life incidentally, is associated with number two. We'll go into that through the rest of this series. God is organization. God is evolution. That's associated with number three, after number two works on number three. That's the number two, the father, the masculine principle, goes to work on the number three, the feminine principle. And I don't know, the boys have been blaming the girl you know saying eve tempted adam into all this naughtiness and nonsense according to qabalah it's the impact of the masculine principle that started the feminine principle into organizing all this uh evolution so I don't know maybe we'll have a word or two to say to you wonderful masculine representatives so that we can all sort of uh take not the blame but congratulate each other curiously and saying my God I am glad that God had this brilliant idea of evolving centers of deity that are you and me incidentally that's what we're after wouldn't you enjoy that instead of the way you feel or think and you know you can feel this way and you can I promise you you can if you're ready to and willing to work on it all right then god is evolution evolution is not something separate from god not that that is all that god is for example I am whatever I am some people may want to call me naughty names I hope not but they might want to especially if they don't like some of my ideas and some will call me very sweet names and that I like naturally because we're each the center of the universe that we are experiencing for deity as well as ourselves as part of deity but the point is I am I and each of you are the same extraordinarily unique and glorious thing however the fact that I am I doesn't keep me from expressing many aspects of I doesn't now I express many ways of beingness now when I was something like I shouldn't tell you you may hold it against me but when I was something like 13 years old I went into oh one of those adolescent sprees and played hooky for just a little while from school and went out feeling quite grown up and got a job in a candy packing place and I really packed candy very well I'm proud of myself I packed it into me far more than I packed it into any box and I've always been proud of my accomplishments we've got to learn how to appreciate proper things you know of course the employer didn't agree with me and I only lasted four days but oh I did a lot of packing in those four days I don't know how much weight I may have gained or not distance has sort of made that I that part of it fade from my memory the point is that that is what I did at that age all right now when I was 16 I did other things I won't tell you when I was 18 and 19 I did other things and so on down the line now but today I am I now the things I did at those different ages aren't they the things that have given me my richness of today's being now the things you did no matter what age you were aren't they the things that have given you your richness this is evolution to look back on yesterday and last year and not moan and ground this is what qabalah says but to look on all the past as the inevitable necessity necessity for that age and to realize that the every experience is what your selfhood uses to digest into itself and to expand its consciousness the universe is expanding that's because you know why your consciousness is expanding our scientists say the universe is running down in its energy entropy and someday will be a thoroughly dead thing ah but remember remember we you get you don't get something for nothing but the point is as the energy of the so called physical universe is running down you know what's running up consciousness we're using it we're eating it we are eating it we are assimilating it we are expanding our beingness through it we have a completely erroneous idea if we want to get away from anything what we want to do is walk with the ecstasy of I am I because I am the vanguard I have had the stick-to-itiveness I have had the ability, I've had the amazing, miraculous good luck, if you want to call it that, though it isn't really just that.

I have had the extraordinary beauty of the love of God to such an extent that from an unconscious center of all, I have been able because I am a spark of consciousness of that all to start deepening my cup of being by going through all types of experience pushing my way up the ladder and the point is this if our consciousness first had to go through knowing what it feels like to be a lizard or a fish or a snake or a worm for some people think I still am or an ape some people think some people look like that especially if they're mad at them but if I have my consciousness has gone through those areas learning how to organize more and more complex vehicles in and through which to evolve more experiences would is it any different than the fact that when I was 13 years old I was able to pack so much candy into myself as well as a box isn't that just part of the experience of yesterday that has enriched and grown us therefore god has to be seen as the core of our beingness and yet we have to see ourselves as being the core of god's beingness deity apparently has an such a nature that it must keep expanding itself through developing individualized personalities for richer and richer beingness and awareness and incidentally on this planet that's us I think that should be a good beginning we're going to be giving you a lot of important exercises to try to help you experience this while we project uh certain awarenesses to you at least so that you can get the seed some of you will have quite a few experiences through this whole course that we'll have or this class that we'll have in this condensed period but the thing I've tried to show you basically as a beginning is this that according to qabalah and we have a truth here that is fantastic I'll give you some more of the evolutionary history as we go along with the class. Deity definitely and always has been in charge of the evolution of life because life is deity even though life is not uh only that is deity isn't only life deity is something more but just like I was I am now something more than I was when I was 13 and at age 13 I had all the potential that was going to grow me into today maybe some of you thought I should have given up at that time I hope not nevertheless whatever potential I had at 13 that was part of what I had to go through to become my today didn't I all right as a center of experience a line of self self-discovery, a line of discovering myself where my consciousness could finally turn in and be able to look at me and say, I am I. If this seems vague to you, we will make it more concrete and clear as we go along. We have an ability to do this. Many of you already know, I realize. So just for this week, I want you to try to bear in mind this basic idea because it's a vital beginning and necessary before anything else can really develop and that is that deity in itself is something we cannot hope to comprehend from this level of awareness but it is possible to develop in such a way to achieve a certain center of awareness so that we can experience deity directly and know by becoming it you don't know what a dog or cat feels like unless you can become a dog or cat and certainly I have more times than month you don't know what anything feels like unless you become these things all you can do is get by its behavior now you can know certain aspects of deity but before you can know them you have to start working in special ways transmuting what your old thinking feeling patterns and there are other elements involved which we will go into and we're going to help you with very extraordinary exercises which I have been given for all of us to work with together here we're going to have a very short intermission in just a moment I'm going to ask our beloved hostess ann ryan to come up and give you some announcements as I go out then you will get up and stretch get your blood circulating those of you who love the filthy weed that's all right we don't say you shouldn't you can go out and enjoy it out of doors be sure you put it out and otherwise just sort of stretch get yourself awake and then after about five minutes we'll return together we'll have some questions and answers we'll have a special meditation and then we'll proceed with the classwork next week we will sort of in some ways deliberately wait for those of you who need to be weeded out to weed yourselves out or those of you who just aren't able to participate at this time for other reasons to sort of step back so we can develop a coherent vehicle because the vital energies we work with we like to make sure that we have a few disruptive to factors of the mind and emotions as possible because we are working with very intense energies and it's much easier for us when those who are just they're curious finally drop away we've had very good luck with using this method for many years now